Transcript
Play Big Queen Podcast Episode 26
Welcome. You are listening to the Play Big Queen podcast. This is for you if you are a woman who is an entrepreneur, business owner, professional, leader, or someone who is deeply committed to personal growth, self-improvement, transformation, and living authentically. This is especially for you if you have an invisible disability, whether you are diagnosed,
undiagnosed, self-diagnosed, or late diagnosed, and you are working on reclaiming your neurodivergent identity, rebuilding confidence, learning what works for your unique brilliance while breaking free from small, people-pleasing conditioning. If you are a visionary change maker interested in advancing your leadership and creating success on your terms, and you want to leave a legacy, if you are navigating disability or neurodiversity as an individual or as an ally, and you are looking for a support
supportive and inclusive environment to thrive, then this is for you. I am your hostess, Kate Bailey. I am the Play Big Queen. My name is my title and a command for all women. Play Big Queen. I invite you to claim this title for yourself and coronate your Play Big self too, if it serves you. I am a business and embodiment mentor working with women who are ready to rise the fuck up and be your bold, beautiful
sexy-ass self, start and grow your big bold vision and claim that you too get to have your boldest desires. I am the creatrix of Kate Bailey LLC, which provides coaching services, educational courses, products and experiences that promote success in neurodiversity advocacy, women's empowerment, embodiment, entrepreneurship and business to serve women on their transformational journey.
To learn more about my company offerings and to get on my email list, go to xxxkatebailey.com. If you would like to learn more about my work, my personal values, my mission and my community, make sure you catch the last five minutes of this episode to go deeper and learn so much more. On this podcast, sometimes we will have guests, sometimes I'll do solo episodes, but every single time you listen, you will expand. So get ready.
It's a new era for women on the PlayBig path. Long may we reign.
Hello, my love. Welcome back to Play Big Queen and welcome back to my porch. I am not in the bathtub this week. I am back out on my gorgeous porch and I am so ready for another conversation on our reclamation of embodied wealth, nervous system safety and radical self-trust. If this is your first time listening hello, I am Kate Bailey and today I want to talk about something that so many of us are feeling right now, especially after this past 4th of July weekend. We are right in the middle of summer. Everyone is talking about vacations and needing a break from it all. Everyone is posting their highlight reels of the perfect getaways and maybe you're craving a vacation too. And yes, rest, beauty and joy are your fucking birthright. You deserve them fully. But let's get real and transparent about the deeper reason why you and so many women feel tired all the damn time, why you feel like you need a vacation from your vacation, why you feel like you have to escape your life just to feel okay. Most people don't want to talk about this because it feels too political because it is political and this year especially feels so much heavier.
Understanding Collective Trauma and Burnout
If you're in the United States, you might have felt it over the 4th of July weekend. And this has been going on for many years, right? The way we're celebrating quote unquote freedom can feel hollow, especially when everyone is not free. When the rise of fascism and authoritarianism is right in front of us. When rights are being stripped away from our LGBT communities, our black communities, disabled communities, our communities of women. When communities are under attack, when so many people are just trying to survive, that tension in your body is not imaginary. It's real. And so often women, especially when we feel that we are not free when we feel the weight of oppression, when we see the patterns of it happening to other people, we're called crazy, we're called hysterical, we're completely gaslit out of our knowing when we have a real nervous system response to collective trauma. It's a response to the truth that pretending everything is fine doesn't actually make it fine.
And my white women especially know exactly what I'm talking about, right? The sweep it under the rug and pretend everything's okay when it's not. And no vacation can fully numb out that awareness, at least not for long. Let me go behind the scenes for a moment. I've done, this is the 26th podcast episode. And on the backend in my systems, get to see how many people are listening and sharing which podcast episodes and you know which podcast episodes get the most downloads and listens? You would think it's about like money or pleasure or whatever the top selling things are, but the podcast episodes that get downloaded the most is where I'm talking about burnout because so many of us, my women, my neurodivergent women, especially feel the burnout of masking, of pretending that we don't know what we know when it comes to politics and systems that do not serve us. And I want you to know that burnout, that feeling of low capacity is not your fault. It is not a personal failure.
Reconnecting with Self and the Vacation Wound
It is a predictable outcome of living inside capitalism, patriarchy, and colonialism. And these systems have taught us to fully disconnect from our bodies, from our communities, to distract us from the things that we need to do to create actual change and transformation. And these systems have taught us how to disconnect from the natural rhythms that sustain us. These systems have taught us to treat pleasure as something that you have to buy, to see rest as something that you must earn, and to believe that home is always somewhere else. A deep marker of the colonialistic trauma is to say that you need to go somewhere else, a luxury retreat, a perfect hotel, a life that looks more curated or developed or better than your own. Retreat, rest, pleasure, our wild untamed selves are commodified. And if we're being for real for real, hot erotic messy money is where I sell a program to get women in to get reconnected to their wild selves and to get out of perfectionism and scarcity. And I've talked about this so many times before, right? The paradox of playing big, the unlikely solution sometimes is more of the problem in order to get out of this cycle that we're in. I've given the example before in the past of going to the gym to become more energy efficient, right? The paradox is you use more energy to become more energy efficient. The unlikely solution to getting more energy is to use more energy in a different way at first. It's the same thing with pleasure and capitalism and colonialism and reclamation.
The unlikely solution to getting more free, to not being commodified, is to invest in getting in the places and spaces that teach you how to reconnect to yourself. Because the real reason that vacations don’t actually heal burnout is so simple. We are still bringing this disconnection with us everywhere as women. No matter how many plane tickets you buy, if you don’t feel safe in your body, you’re never going to feel truly rested. If you don’t learn how to belong to yourself again, there is no vacation in the world that is going to fix that eternal ache. And this is what I’m calling the vacation wound. It’s that cycle of overworking and exhaustion and escape and disappointment. And it’s why so many brilliant high capacity women eventually feel stuck even when they’re doing everything quote unquote right. And so it’s so important that we have these spaces and intentional times where we reflect and we do the actual somatic work that helps us reclaim our bodies from this disconnection and starts rebuilding and rewiring our bodies for connection.
I want to do something that I love to do on these podcast episodes, which is guide you in a short somatic reflection to help you feel this in real time. So if you’re driving, if you’re walking, you might not be able to close your eyes, but I want to invite you into this practice and just naturally adapt it. So if it’s your situation and you can still be safe right now. If it is safe for you to do so, I wanna invite you to close your eyes or soften your gaze. Or just take a breath if you can’t close your eyes and just feel yourself kind of like land in your body for a moment. And maybe place a hand on your heart or your belly, wherever you feel naturally called to hold and place a hand on.
And take a slow breath in through your nose.
And then exhale gently out your mouth.
And feel where your body is tired. If you are closing your eyes, maybe you feel your body start to yawn. When we land in our bodies and we get present with our bodies, we can feel so clearly that we’re tired and that we’ve been ignoring it. And just feel where your body is tired. Where you’re longing to escape. And feel where that aching to belong lives. And just ask yourself without any judgment as you feel into this space, what would it take to stop running? What would it take to feel like I could rest right here and right now? And what would it mean to belong to yourself again?
You might hear some kids that are walking in the background crying and that’s okay because we have to take the time to learn no matter what is going on around us, how to tap into ourselves without judgment and ask ourselves these questions that help us reflect on how to reconnect to our bodies. And this is really at the heart of the work that we’re doing inside Hot Erotic Messy Money.
Hot Erotic Messy Money isn’t just about manifesting more income or following a business strategy. It’s about creating a relationship with money that is rooted in safety and connection and agency instead of fear. It’s about understanding that wealth is not something you can earn through endless striving or escaping. It’s something you embody when you feel safe enough to receive it and be present with it. It’s also about decolonizing your connection to rest, pleasure and prosperity.
If you’ve been feeling the pull to step into this work, if you can feel in your bones that this is the missing piece, I want you to know that this is the last week to join Hot Erotic Messy Money with the Super Early Bird pricing. Enrollment for Super Early Bird is gonna close this Friday, July 11th, and this is your chance to save \$200 before the price goes up and the doors close soon after that.
If your body feels a yes, if you feel that quiet spark in your gut, I invite you to join us. You can find the link to enroll in the show notes or you can head over to Instagram at Play Big Queen and DM me, I’m ready and I will send you all the details. Hot Erotic Messy Money is not another vacation. It is not another escape. It is a practice where you discover a way to come home to yourself, to connect to yourself, to your truth around money, which I know can be scary, but you can do this. And it’s a reconnection to all that is alive within you and asking to come out and be expressed.
Now, I know this is a short episode today, but I just want you to think about this theme of vacation and rest and this cycle of escaping and this illusion of reconnection that never fully delivers and where we have a tendency to put our power external from us around the things that lead to our genuine liberation. It’s so easy in a world that’s overstimulating, to outsource our power, to look for something outside us, to energize us instead of consciously and deliberately putting ourselves back into spaces and places that are intentional and built to have us connect to ourselves and each other genuinely in community. If you’re feeling the call to join us for Hot Erotic Messy Money, I really hope you allow yourself the permission to come and explore it, even if you don’t know what it is, even if it’s intimidating.
You can just show up with your camera off and see where it goes from there. And I will make sure to take exquisite care of you. Go to hoteroticmessymoney.com and join and we will gather in community on Sunday, July 27th at 8 p.m. Eastern time. And if you can’t make it live, there will be a replay. And remember the revolution, the reclamation. Whether it’s with money or any of these systems that are at play, it starts with you. It starts inside of you. If you’re grasping for all these external things, you’re looking in the wrong place, sister, because nobody has more power than you do to change your life and your money situation. And if you’re still dancing around it, I’m a real-ass human being, send me an email at [email protected] or just DM me on any of the channels, any questions you have about Hot Erotic Messy Money. It’s time to make a change. It’s time to come home to yourself. And I would be honored to be your guide and witness during this very special time.
Okay, that's it for this episode of the Play Big Queen podcast. Thank you so much for sharing your time with me. As always, eat the fruit, spit out the seeds, take what nourished you, keep what resonated for you, and leave the rest because ultimately, you know best.
This episode is over until next time, we can keep this thing going. Go to xxxkatebailey.com, scroll to the bottom where it says, join our community, and get on the email list to get all the juicy details about all my offerings and where Play Big Queens play together online, on social media, and in person. We've got a tight community of women claiming their boldest desires, celebrating wins, playing all out, fiercely standing for each other and going higher together. Go to xxxkatebailey.com, put in your email address and confirm your subscription. Once you're in, you'll get all the juicy guides, tips and inspirations and you'll get notified first about all the offers we have for all the big stuff we're doing over here. Go to xxxkatebailey.com to stay in the loop. That's xxxkatebailey.com.
If you like what you heard in this podcast, subscribe, share it with your friends, and if you got something from this, I would appreciate some reviews and ratings. When you take the time to review the podcast, it helps our podcast get out to more women who need it. If you haven't already, head over to iTunes and Spotify and show Play Big Queen some love. Also,
I want you to know that my door is always open and I will always make space for you to be heard and to honor your experience. The views expressed in this podcast are through the lens of my personal identity and my own lived experience. I am a European mix Mediterranean mutt who is an Italian Sicilian, cis heterosexual woman born in New York, experiencing the world in a white body as a multiply neurodivergent.
who lives in a neurodiverse and racially blended family. And like everyone else, my one single perspective comes with its own limitations. I have done personal and professional work around anti-racism, diversity, equity, equality, and inclusion. I am not a therapist or doctor, and any coaching or advice cannot take the place of professional medical, mental health, or healing help. However, that being said,
What happens in my work is often a very powerful additional supplemental or alternative way to heal around identity work, mindset and emotional wellness. Although I am not a licensed therapist, it is worth noting that in addition to being a mentor, I am trained and certified in emergency medicine and response. I have rendered care to over 20,000 patients in the course of my career. I have taught over 15,000 students, many of which had learning disabilities that were undiagnosed and came from diverse cultural backgrounds. I was also a private health college adjunct professor who was responsible for training medical professionals on how to respond to trauma and behavioral emergencies. If you approach me with any concern, you will be met with professionalism, compassion, understanding, support, and a readiness and a willingness to advocate for your needs. That being said, sometimes I just get it wrong.
I am a human being on my own growth journey after all. When I mess up, I'm always available for courageous and crucial conversation that makes way for growth and healing. Your experience and voice matters to me. I sincerely welcome any feedback you feel called to share. You can email your comments or concerns to info at playbigqueen.com knowing that I am open to having any and all crucial conversations needed. Okay.
Remember, you are brilliant. Celebrate yourself. Value your own unique way and honor your own timing. Because you can totally create a life and business that feels good and is successful on your terms. Remember to release expectations of what you think your Play Big process should look like and be willing to do the work that needs to be done to Play Big. But most of all, when you come face to face with your boldest desires, remember to trust yourself and play big queen
Hi, queen. I see you're in it for the long game. If you reach this part of the podcast episode, it means you're interested in learning more about my work, my values, my mission, and my community. So let's go deeper together. I am here to activate neurodivergent women to play bigger and to show you that you are so capable of doing big things and that if you value your own unique way and honor your own timing, you will learn to receive your boldest desires and so much more.
In my world, what makes you different is valued, celebrated, honored, and welcome. I welcome all who identify as female and non-binary folk in my Play Big Queens community. We believe in and support LGBTQIA plus 2S, Black Lives Matter, women's and pro-choice rights, and obviously intersectional identities, including disabilities, neurodivergence, and religious beliefs. Personally, I am pro sex worker rights, pro-Palestinian liberation, against Islamophobia, and against anti-Semitism, and I'm also against any cult-like religions that use beliefs as an excuse to indoctrinate people into abusive, autocratic systems. Like many neurodivergent people, we have big hearts and a strong sense of social justice around here. You are encouraged to stay and play in our Play Big Queen community if you share these values. For those who find the word queen does not resonate.
Perhaps because of imperial associations, the Play Big self archetype can take any form and the invitation and activation remains the same. To learn to embody your Play Big self, to operate from love instead of fear, to go on a Play Big journey in community because you know that no Play Big queen can truly Play Big alone.
To decide to cultivate the courage to use your voice, unmask, reclaim, embrace and embody your brilliance and create a life and business that works with the unique way that you work. Through this work, you will come to know the truth of your brilliance deeply. And as you come to know your authentic self, more and more will begin to open up for you. Knowing your unique brilliance will lead to great success and true belonging. In this world, we take the pressure off and learn to step off the traditional path so you can blaze your own trail. My mission is to get you motivated, inspired, and equipped to get into massive action and go on your very own Play Big journey. My mission is to empower at least 10,000 women to fully step into their Play Big self by offering healing, transformative, inclusive, and neurodiverse-affirming coaching and content.
Through innovative coaching programs, courses, and master classes, we provide the tools, support, sustainability, and community needed to help each woman embrace her unique path to confidence, success, and meaningful impact. If just 10,000 women with invisible disabilities and their allies were empowered with neurodiverse affirming and inclusive communication to express their unique brilliance, step into their authority and autonomy and lead,
the world would experience a profound shift towards inclusivity, innovation, and empathy. These women would break through societal limitations, modeling resilience, creativity, and strength of diversity. Their voices and perspectives, often shaped by unique experiences with challenges and perseverance, would redefine business leadership, inspire systemic change, and create spaces where diverse ways of thinking are not just accepted,
but celebrated. Industries and communities would become more accessible and inclusive with practices that honor varied ways of working, communicating, and achieving. This change would ripple into every area of life and society. Workplaces would become more adaptable, offering a culture of respect for individual strengths. Health care and education systems would improve.
improve centering accessibility and compassion in their approaches and policies would evolve to better support those with invisible challenges benefiting society as a whole. So many women with so much potential are shrinking in the face of their own brilliance, just sitting on the sidelines waiting for permission instead of getting in the game. The activation of the latent potential in these women, their empowerment, making them visible would inspire others, reduce stigma around invisible disabilities, and encourage everyone to lead authentically. Their successes will light the way for countless more women to rise, creating a culture of true diversity where every person feels valued, included, and emboldened to contribute their brilliance and lead with it. If you know you are ready for more clarity, confidence, and you want to embody your play big self and be supported around creating the big vision for your life and business, then send me an email at info at playbigqueen.com telling me why this work is so important for you and we can explore opportunities to work together and make your Play Big dreams a reality.
