Welcome. You are listening to the Play Big Queen podcast. This is for you if you are a woman who is an entrepreneur, business owner, professional, leader, or someone who is deeply committed to personal growth, self-improvement, transformation, and living authentically. This is especially for you if you have an invisible disability, whether you are diagnosed,
undiagnosed, self-diagnosed, or late diagnosed, and you are working on reclaiming your neurodivergent identity, rebuilding confidence, learning what works for your unique brilliance while breaking free from small, people-pleasing conditioning. If you are a visionary change maker interested in advancing your leadership and creating success on your terms, and you want to leave a legacy, if you are navigating disability or neurodiversity as an individual or as an ally, and you are looking for a support
supportive and inclusive environment to thrive, then this is for you. I am your hostess, Kate Bailey. I am the Play Big Queen. My name is my title and a command for all women. Play Big Queen. I invite you to claim this title for yourself and coronate your Play Big self too, if it serves you. I am a business and embodiment mentor working with women who are ready to rise the fuck up and be your bold, beautiful
sexy-ass self, start and grow your big bold vision and claim that you too get to have your boldest desires. I am the creatrix of Kate Bailey LLC, which provides coaching services, educational courses, products and experiences that promote success in neurodiversity advocacy, women's empowerment, embodiment, entrepreneurship and business to serve women on their transformational journey.
To learn more about my company offerings and to get on my email list, go to xxxkatebailey.com. If you would like to learn more about my work, my personal values, my mission and my community, make sure you catch the last five minutes of this episode to go deeper and learn so much more. On this podcast, sometimes we will have guests, sometimes I'll do solo episodes, but every single time you listen, you will expand. So get ready.
Kate Bailey (02:22.04)
It's a new era for women on the Play Big Path. Long may we reign. Hey babes, welcome back to the Play Big Queen podcast where we stop over-functioning, start listening to our bodies turn on and build wealth from the hips up. If you're new here, I'm Kate Bailey, embodiment coach, neurodivergent witch, money and masquer, and your host. And this episode is especially for my type A women.
who are so good at being the good girl, the overachiever, burning out to survive and forgetting how to feel alive. This episode is called Everything Doesn't Need to be Analyzed Somatic Sensation and Why You Need to Dance Your Way into Wealth.
and especially for my neurodiversion people, my neuro spicy baddies with ADHD, autism, anxiety, PTSD, whether you're navigating challenges you were born with or newly acquired, you are type A. Overthinker, the one who journaled her way through childhood trauma and knows her attachment style in like five different languages. You've done the quote unquote work and yet,
You are still exhausted. You know what your patterns are. You can see them playing out in real time, but you still can seem to shift them. There's a reason why. Analysis gives you a great understanding, but embodiment gives you power. Embodiment gives you that felt sense of actually being the person who's healed. Embodiment
is the integration of everything that's still up in your head. Everything that you just know in theory about your brilliance and your inner wealth and your true capacity and your potential. I mean, look, everybody's just doing the best that they can with what they've got, but we could be doing so much better. Overthinking is a brilliant trauma response. It keeps you safe and it keeps you in control.
Kate Bailey (04:37.413)
And from my years in working in and studying emergency medicine, I've learned that the body is always trying to heal, it's always trying to compensate. And the way that it does that, and anyone who works in medical knows this, when the body initially tries to compensate, everything speeds up. So the EMS teacher in me here is gonna give you a quick example, right?
Say you break an arm, let's say it's an open fracture and you're bleeding. The blood needs to circulate around your whole body to all of your organs so all of your organs can get oxygen. But when you break your arm, crack it open and it's bleeding, that circulation gets interrupted. So the body's intelligence says, shit, we're not getting blood to the organs that need it.
most. We're not getting oxygen to the organs. So we're going to pump faster. We're going to get this blood circulating faster. And initially, when you start to compensate, everything speeds up. But you can't maintain at that pace forever. Eventually, what the body will do is it starts to decompensate. And everything starts to slow down because we can't maintain and keep functioning at that level.
I used to tell my EMS students it's like this. If you've ever tried to catch a bus or a train or something for transportation and you're running a little bit behind, you're walking up to the bus stop and when you get there, you see the bus take off. And so what do you do? You compensate. You try to run after the bus because you want to be on time. The bus is going to keep running and if it doesn't stop, eventually,
What's going to happen to you? You might run, you might push really hard, but eventually you're going to start to slow down. And your body is going to be like, I just physically can't do this. And when we're in scarcity, we feel like we have no time. We feel like this is the only bus. We feel like we got to get on or we're never going to get there in life. And this is the embodied trauma response in response.
Kate Bailey (07:00.622)
scarcity. We think there's never going to be another bus. We think that we're going to be late and miss our opportunity. We start to criticize our timing and make ourselves wrong somehow in our character for being quote-unquote behind. And this is the way the body is designed to keep you alive. It is textbook anatomy that you will compensate and
everything will go faster and all systems will rev up and then inevitably you will start to decompensate and all systems will crash. We cannot keep operating in this state, Overthinking, again, it is a brilliant trauma response. It keeps you safe, it keeps you in control, but it also keeps you in your head and money doesn't live in your head.
It lives in your nervous system. It lives in your capacity to hold, to feel, to stay open and override the knee-jerk reaction to compensate and replace that with staying present and staying open to when your body says, I wanna shut it all down. Now, you've heard me say it time and time again, if you've been listening for a while now, the body has its own intelligence.
That's what the compensatory and decompensatory mechanisms illustrate, right? Your body is going to do these things on its own. Your body is going to compensate and decompensate as needed. It does this with dopamine too. It's going to like down-regulate and up-regulate. Your body has an intelligent response for everything, not a reaction. And so,
It's great if you do your mindset work and you're in your head because we need that part too, because we need your brain to tell your body that, you know, when the bus leaves and you've missed the bus, that there are other buses. And in order to be able to feel that there are other buses, you need to have the embodied sense that you know in your bones that there are other buses.
Kate Bailey (09:21.499)
And if all you've ever been taught is it has to be this one way at this specific time, it is very challenging to get your body back into a place where you are navigating your world based on the body's intelligence and not based on your brain's overthinking and scarcity, where your brain is trying to protect you from places and situations and identities that you no longer need protection from.
When you let your body lead you with its own intelligence without your brain getting in the way, you start to discover that your body is already trying to heal you. And I know with disabilities and diseases and conditions, sometimes the intelligence of your body just gets the wrong message, right? This is super clear when we see autoimmune diseases and things like that. But as its baseline function,
your body is already trying to heal you. Whether it's super successful at that in different areas like your endocrine system, your immune system, your digestive system is another story. But as a general rule, this body intelligence is wired to try to heal you. So when you cry during a commercial, when you stretch your chest open after a long day, your body is speaking.
releasing, trying to come home to itself. But most of us don't give our body the space to do that. We override the signals. We grind instead of taking time to grieve. We schedule and over schedule instead of surrendering. And when we do that, we are ignoring one of the greatest truths that our bodies have its own innate
wisdom. It doesn't need more information, especially for my ADHDers who are in information overload or my people with anxiety, right? Like the body doesn't need more information. It needs permission. It needs permission and space to access its own wisdom. It needs permission to rest, to move, permission to feel, to moan, to melt.
Kate Bailey (11:47.626)
The body needs permission to just be a body and to do what it does best. It needs to pulse, process, play, rest, and rise. Now, if you're in the coaching communities or therapy spaces, leadership even, you've probably heard the phrase, movement is medicine.
especially in the spiritual communities. We see this message on mugs and yoga tanks and Instagram reels. And still, we cognitively know it. We know that movement is medicine with our minds, but we tend to leave movement for last. We treat it like a luxury. We tell ourselves, I'll dance when I'm less tired. I'll stretch after I check these nine emails.
I'll breathe deeper once I've launched the next thing. And part of that is how dopamine works in our system. And part of that is being wired for survival. We get too busy to actually heal. We're so focused on being functional that we've forgotten what actual freedom feels like. And when you're playing bigger and you're learning to develop authentic wealth,
Your body doesn't need more discipline. Being a part of the 5 a.m. club is not gonna be the thing that gets you there. Your body needs more devotion. And if your devotional just happens to happen at 5 a.m. and that feels good for you, that's great. But devotion doesn't look like grinding harder. It looks like...
turning on music in your kitchen and letting your hips move before your brain has a say in anything. It looks like putting in your headphones and going for a run and letting your primal raw power run with you because you know that you are that baddie that just does the damn thing.
Kate Bailey (14:01.486)
This is what we are practicing in hot, erotic, messy money because the somatics of it is what makes you rich. Somatics is the study and practice of how the body experiences life, especially how it stores emotion, trauma, and memory, and how healing can happen through the body, not just through the mind. And in more practical terms, somatics means listening to your body's signals, like tension and breath.
and posture and movement and using these signals to process, regulate and transform your experience. It's not about controlling your body. It's about partnering with your body. Where traditional mindset work might ask, what are you thinking? Somatic work asks, what are you feeling? And where do you feel it? And more importantly, what does your body intuitively feel called to do with it?
I learned a lot about somatics from what not to do when I worked in EMS. Something that's really interesting is being able to watch and observe how bodies behave in trauma. I've seen a lot of motor vehicle accidents, some that are so horrific I don't want to mention here, but
There's a pattern to what some bodies go through when they experience that type of trauma. And when I worked in EMS, we had protocols, we had steps that we had to follow to provide medical care. And if we didn't follow those steps, we could be found legally liable for malfeasance, misfeasance or nonfeasance, which is basically
neglecting your patient, omitting a step that you needed to do according to standard operating procedures and protocols for your patient, or doing the wrong step. All of these acts could lead to legal ramifications. And so I would get on the scene and there would be a patient in the street bleeding from a motor vehicle accident or a motorcycle accident and their body would want to shake.
Kate Bailey (16:25.537)
And the shaking, you could kind of tell, it's interesting because there things that we were taught in emergency medicine and there are things where you just have a knowing in your body, right? And I had this knowing when I saw these bodies shake that this is the nervous system attempting to discharge trauma. It's healthy, it's natural, it's an instinctive somatic response to shock and overwhelm. But then I come along
And my protocol says that I have to protect this person's spine. I have to put a neck collar on and immobilize their head and restrict their movement. And there are somatic implications for this. The body was in the middle of a trauma discharge process. One trauma discharge process that the body does is it freezes, then it thaws, then it shakes, then it releases in that sequence. But now,
since I'm coming along, adhering to protocols, that process is being interrupted. And it's probably best for the patient because ultimately if they've been in a traumatic accident, you don't want them to have more injuries to their spine that can really affect whether or not they have mobility in life. But from a somatic trauma response, what's happening is the freeze response tries to complete and then movement becomes restricted.
And then the result of that is somatic incompletion. So the trauma cycle is interrupted. That unprocessed fight, flight, freeze energy stays trapped in the body. And over time, this can manifest as hypervigilance, chronic anxiety, numbness or disassociation, muscle tightness, and sometimes even somatic flashbacks. So feeling frozen when we're triggered.
And whether you have trauma with a little T or trauma with a big T like these motor vehicle accidents, we get patterning and programming that is imprinted on our somatic system. The nervous system starts to encode its own behavioral operating procedures where it says, it's not safe to move. My body's truth isn't welcome. I can't trust what my body wants to do or simply
Kate Bailey (18:49.037)
I'm not allowed to finish. And if you think about how many times the body experiences that, especially as someone who is neurodivergent, how many times you experience at school, at work, somebody telling you your body has to be a certain way, you're not allowed to finish, then this constant reinforcement of that behavioral modification protocol that your body runs
repeatedly puts your body into this state where it reinforces shutting down, overriding instincts, and disconnecting from sensation. When we finally start doing somatic or embodiment work years later, we drop into exploring embodiment or somatics and we find ourselves resisting movement or having stillness at critical moments.
We can feel shame around having impulses and not being able to complete them. We can feel like our body wants to shake or scream or move in our daily life, but like our brain just shuts it down repeatedly. So in these moments, it's really important to understand that healing becomes restoring permission to complete what was once interrupted.
by giving the body a second chance to do what it never got to do. And that's one of the many benefits of doing like embodiment work or somatics work, but it's also important to know that somatics isn't just about releasing trauma. It's about building capacity to hold more goodness, to hold more wealth, more joy, more pleasure, more ease. Because the super logical truth is if you do not feel safe having money,
and holding money, you're never going to feel safe attracting it. And if your body is stuck in survival, no amount of strategy will fix that. You'll get 100K months, you'll have your million dollar months, you'll spend as much as you make. You won't be clear, especially if you have ADHD on what your needs are versus your wants. You'll keep thinking that you need more and more instead of.
Kate Bailey (21:09.587)
being present with yourself about what exactly the next growth strategy should be for your business, how it would feel good for you to scale either your business or your profession. And I know the name of it is Taboo, the workshop that I'm having, right? But this is why Hot Erotic Messy Money is not just a workshop. It is a portal. It is a full body money ritual.
where we breathe and moan and move and play and unshame our way into overflow. You know, a big thing with somatics and embodiment is it doesn't always make sense. It doesn't make sense that you would just play and get better at money. It doesn't make sense that you get to be creative and things just naturally flow to you.
But when we say it doesn't make sense, remember, it doesn't make sense to your brain. The fear-based organ that is designed to keep you safe, the fear-based organ that loves to give in to scarcity unless you check your mindset. It doesn't make sense from an overthinking brain perspective how hot, erotic, messy money would work.
It makes sense from the body's intelligence. It makes sense from somatics and embodiment and true healing. We don't just talk about money in hot, erotic, messy money. We feel it. We dance with it. We seduce it. We write our old money stories on our skin in lipstick and then we smear it off in a sweaty, pleasurable reclamation.
and why that works makes sense when you're looking at it through the lens of somatics. Because some women and some people are going to follow the rules and do everything right and their life is going to look good on paper and they're going to check all the boxes and they're going to love that money is coming in and that's going to be enough for them. And then there are other women, other people who want to be in their purpose, be in their pleasure.
Kate Bailey (23:27.987)
be authentic and have a healthy, connected relationship with money. They want intimacy with their money, the same that they want intimacy in all their other areas of life, with their lover or lovers, with their friends, with their family. There are some people who want depth and pleasure and meaning and connection, aliveness and turn on in everything that they do.
And so, if your body is lighting up right now, if you are tingling with recognition that you are the one who wants turn on, if you know the answer exists more in your body and not in your brain, and if your chest feels cracked open, if your spine maybe is swaying a little in your seat, trust that. Trust the signs from your body that you know this is for you.
The waitlist for Hot Erotic Messy Money is open now and it closes June 20th, the same day that the doors open for Hot Erotic Messy Money. If you are on the waitlist before June 20th, you're gonna get $200 off making the workshop only $97. You're gonna get free access to the Whore Crawl.
which is a self-guided erotic wealth course that reclaims pleasure, power, and payment through the whore or prostitute archetype. Just like you have an inner child, you have an inner prostitute that needs healing. Who knew, right? That course only comes as a bonus if you're on the wait list for hot erotic messy money. And if you're on the wait list, you also get first access to purchase before the doors open to the public this week.
I'll send you a private special email with a link for you to buy just for you. That's all set up for you to get your free course and all the things that you need to get the best price and early access. This isn't about being performative sexy. This is about being deeply alive for yourself. This is about the soul level depth that true abundance comes with.
Kate Bailey (25:53.791)
Join the waitlist at hoteroticmessymoney.com or click the link in the show notes. Because not everything needs to be analyzed, Queen. Sometimes you just need to dance. It's time to let go of the idea that a magical life and magical amounts of money needs to make sense because it just doesn't. Not to our tiny human brains that cannot understand the magnitude of this kind of magic.
So let's get messy, let's get rich, and I'll see you inside the ritual. Okay, that's it for this episode of the Play Big Queen podcast. Thank you so much for sharing your time with me. As always, eat the fruit, spit out the seeds, take what nourished you, keep what resonated for you, and leave the rest because ultimately, you know best.
This episode is over until next time, we can keep this thing going. Go to xxxkatebailey.com, scroll to the bottom where it says, Join Our Community, and get on the email list to get all the juicy details about all my offerings and where Play Big Queens play together online, on social media, and in person. We've got a tight community of women claiming their boldest desires, celebrating wins, playing all out, fiercely standing for each other.
and going higher together. Go to xxxkatebailey.com, put in your email address and confirm your subscription. Once you're in, you'll get all the juicy guides, tips and inspirations and you'll get notified first about all the offers we have for all the big stuff we're doing over here. Go to xxxkatebailey.com to stay in the loop. That's xxxkatebailey.com.
If you like what you heard in this podcast, subscribe, share it with your friends, and if you got something from this, I would appreciate some reviews and readings. When you take the time to review the podcast, it helps our podcast get out to more women who need it. If you haven't already, head over to iTunes and Spotify and show Play Big Queen some love. Also,
Kate Bailey (28:01.472)
I want you to know that my door is always open and I will always make space for you to be heard and to honor your experience. The views expressed in this podcast are through the lens of my personal identity and my own lived experience. I am a European mix Mediterranean mutt who is an Italian Sicilian, cis heterosexual woman born in New York, experiencing the world in a white body as a multiply neurodivergent.
who lives in a neurodiverse and racially blended family. And like everyone else, my one single perspective comes with its own limitations. I have done personal and professional work around anti-racism, diversity, equity, equality, and inclusion. I am not a therapist or doctor, and any coaching or advice cannot take the place of professional medical, mental health, or healing help. However, that being said,
What happens in my work is often a very powerful additional supplemental or alternative way to heal around identity work, mindset and emotional wellness. Although I am not a licensed therapist, it is worth noting that in addition to being a mentor, I am trained and certified in emergency medicine and response. I have rendered care to over 20,000 patients in the course of my career. I have taught over 15,000 students, many of which
at learning disabilities that were undiagnosed and came from diverse cultural backgrounds. I was also a private health college adjunct professor who was responsible for training medical professionals on how to respond to trauma and behavioral emergencies. If you approach me with any concern, you will be met with professionalism, compassion, tact, understanding, support, and a readiness and a willingness to advocate for your needs. That being said, sometimes I just get it wrong.
I am a human being on my own growth journey after all. When I mess up, I'm always available for courageous and crucial conversation that makes way for growth and healing. Your experience and voice matters to me. I sincerely welcome any feedback you feel called to share. You can email your comments or concerns to info at playbigqueen.com knowing that I am open to having any and all crucial conversations needed. Okay.
Kate Bailey (30:19.712)
Remember, you are brilliant. Celebrate yourself. Value your own unique way and honor your own timing. Because you can totally create a life and business that feels good and is successful on your terms. Remember to release expectations of what you think your Play Big process should look like and be willing to do the work that needs to be done to Play Big. But most of all, when you come face to face with your boldest desires, remember to trust yourself.
and play big clean.
Kate Bailey (30:55.99)
Hi Queen, I see you're in it for the long game. If you reach this part of the podcast episode, it means you're interested in learning more about my work, my values, my mission, and my community. So let's go deeper together. I am here to activate neurodivergent women to play bigger and to show you that you are so capable of doing big things and that if you value your own unique way and honor your own timing, you will learn to receive your boldest desires and so much more.
In my world, what makes you different is valued, celebrated, honored, and welcome. I welcome all who identify as female and non-binary folk in my Play Big Queens community. We believe in and support LGBTQIA plus 2S, Black Lives Matter, women's and pro-choice rights, and obviously intersectional identities, including disabilities, neurodivergence, and religious beliefs. Personally, I am pro sex worker rights.
pro-Palestinian liberation, against Islamophobia, and against anti-Semitism, and I'm also against any cult-like religions that use beliefs as an excuse to indoctrinate people into abusive, autocratic systems. Like many neurodivergent people, we have big hearts and a strong sense of social justice around here. You are encouraged to stay and play in our Play Big Queen community if you share these values. For those who find the word queen does not resonate.
Perhaps because of imperial associations, the Play Big self archetype can take any form and the invitation and activation remains the same. To learn to embody your Play Big self, to operate from love instead of fear, to go on a Play Big journey in community because you know that no Play Big queen can truly Play Big.
alone. To decide to cultivate the courage to use your voice, unmask, reclaim, embrace and embody your brilliance and create a life and business that works with the unique way that you work. Through this work, you will come to know the truth of your brilliance deeply. And as you come to know your authentic self, more and more will begin to open up for you. Knowing your unique brilliance will lead to great success and true belonging. In this world, we take the pressure off.
Kate Bailey (33:11.786)
and learn to step off the traditional path so you can blaze your own trail. My mission is to get you motivated, inspired, and equipped to get into massive action and go on your very own Play Big journey. My mission is to empower at least 10,000 women to fully step into their Play Big self by offering healing, transformative, inclusive, and neurodiverse-affirming coaching and content.
Through innovative coaching programs, courses, and master classes, we provide the tools, support, sustainability, and community needed to help each woman embrace her unique path to confidence, success, and meaningful impact. If just 10,000 women with invisible disabilities and their allies were empowered with neurodiverse affirming and inclusive communication to express their unique brilliance, step into their authority and autonomy and lead,
the world would experience a profound shift towards inclusivity, innovation, and empathy. These women would break through societal limitations, modeling resilience, creativity, and strength of diversity. Their voices and perspectives, often shaped by unique experiences with challenges and perseverance, would redefine business leadership, inspire systemic change, and create spaces where diverse ways of thinking are not just accepted,
but celebrated. Industries and communities would become more accessible and inclusive with practices that honor varied ways of working, communicating, and achieving. This change would ripple into every area of life and society. Workplaces would become more adaptable, offering a culture of respect for individual strengths. Health care and education systems would improve.
improve centering accessibility and compassion in their approaches and policies would evolve to better support those with invisible challenges benefiting society as a whole. So many women with so much potential are shrinking in the face of their own brilliance, just sitting on the sidelines waiting for permission instead of getting in the game. The activation of the latent potential in these women, their empowerment, making them visible.
Kate Bailey (35:23.596)
would inspire others, reduce stigma around invisible disabilities, and encourage everyone to lead authentically. Their successes will light the way for countless more women to rise, creating a culture of true diversity where every person feels valued, included, and emboldened to contribute their brilliance and lead with it. If you know you are ready for more clarity, confidence, and you want to embody your play big self and be supported around creating the
big vision for your life and business, then send me an email at info at playbigqueen.com telling me why this work is so important for you and we can explore opportunities to work together and make your Play Big dreams a reality.