Episode 14 Transcript:
Intro
Welcome. You are listening to the Play Big Queen podcast. This is for you if you are a woman who is an entrepreneur, business owner, professional, leader, or someone who is deeply committed to personal growth, self-improvement, transformation, and living authentically. This is especially for you if you have an invisible disability, whether you are diagnosed,
undiagnosed, self-diagnosed, or late diagnosed, and you are working on reclaiming your neurodivergent identity, rebuilding confidence, learning what works for your unique brilliance while breaking free from small, people-pleasing conditioning. If you are a visionary change maker interested in advancing your leadership and creating success on your terms, and you want to leave a legacy, if you are navigating disability or neurodiversity as an individual or as an ally, and you are looking for a support
supportive and inclusive environment to thrive, then this is for you. I am your hostess, Kate Bailey. I am the Play Big Queen. My name is my title and a command for all women. Play Big Queen. I invite you to claim this title for yourself and coronate your Play Big self too, if it serves you. I am a business and embodiment mentor working with women who are ready to rise the fuck up and be your bold, beautiful
sexy-ass self, start and grow your big bold vision and claim that you too get to have your boldest desires. I am the creatrix of Kate Bailey LLC, which provides coaching services, educational courses, products and experiences that promote success in neurodiversity advocacy, women's empowerment, embodiment, entrepreneurship and business to serve women on their transformational journey.
To learn more about my company offerings and to get on my email list, go to xxxkatebailey.com. If you would like to learn more about my work, my personal values, my mission and my community, make sure you catch the last five minutes of this episode to go deeper and learn so much more. On this podcast, sometimes we will have guests, sometimes I'll do solo episodes, but every single time you listen, you will expand. So get ready.
Kate Bailey (02:22.038)
It's a new era for women on the Play Big path. Long may we reign.
Episode
Hi, gorgeous. Welcome back to the Play Big Queen podcast, your space for radical self-trust, embodied brilliance and unapologetic leadership for women who were never meant to play small. Today's episode is a deep and juicy one. I'm answering the question I know lives in the hearts of so many Play Big Queens.
What does growing your business and stepping into your leadership really look like when you stop hustling and start prioritizing your wellness, self-care, and sovereignty? Also, what changes, internal and external, can you expect as you unlearn hustle culture and begin to embody confidence, pleasure, and purpose? Because boo-boo, it is not just about slowing down. It is about, finally, choosing you.
It's about building a life and business that honors your nervous system, your brilliance, your body. It's about becoming the woman who leads with pleasure, power, and presence, not panic. Let's get into it. Let's talk about the before and after, being in perpetual hustle hangover versus embodying the sovereign queen. When I talk about freedom frequency,
I'm talking about a high vibrational emotional or energetic state where you feel emotionally, mentally, or spiritually free. When we're talking about the freedom frequency, we're talking about being associated with feelings like liberation, empowerment, authenticity, and sovereignty over your life, which is
A genuine challenge when navigating traditional oppressive systems rooted in hustle culture, rooted in hustle so you are too tired to ever leave or go off on your own path or so they think. But before we can talk about what shifts once you're holding in your body the frequency of freedom and levity and joy, I want to paint a picture. What does hustle actually feel like?
Kate Bailey (04:45.721)
It's rushing through your morning even when nothing is urgent. It's feeling guilty for resting even when you're exhausted. It's checking your email on the toilet. It's when your body can't have its most basic functions because it's plugged in all the time. It's panic when your inbox is empty and it's panic when it's full. It's saying yes to misaligned clients or work that is not
a match for your true talents because your body just doesn't trust stability yet. It's attaching your worth to your output. It is the relentless and haunting fear that if you slow down, even for a moment, that everything you built will crumble in an instant. Any of this sounding familiar? Now picture this.
You wake up and you feel into your body before you even touch your phone. You work fewer hours, but you make more aligned money from a place of integrity. You drink your tea with your full presence. Your creativity is richer because it's rooted in rest and not adrenaline. Your business, the business that you show up to
to work at your job, for your life's work, or the business that you are building, your business does not require you to mask anymore. It thrives on your truth. You feel sovereign, you feel safe, and you feel like a queen on your own damn timeline. That is the shift. And that is the shit, because when you feel that,
woman, the game changes. Now, dismantling the hustle spell is not easy. We need a little mindset alchemy here, and the transition always starts in the mind. First, you'll start questioning everything hustle has taught you. And as someone born in the hustle capital of the world, New York, you can also start questioning who you are at your very core.
Kate Bailey (07:12.473)
in beginning. The voice that whispers, you're lazy if you rest, you're falling behind. That voice might get louder and meaner at first. Why? Because you're disrupting an entire belief system. Some of you, myself included, when you disrupt hustle culture might be disrupting a part of your identity that was never the truth of who you were to begin with.
But eventually, you'll start replacing shame with compassion, urgency with intentionality, panic with power. You'll start replacing the need for constant output with the recognition of your ability to constantly magnetize and compel and draw people, things, your desires and money into your orbit. Next.
Second, you'll redefine success, not just by how many clients you have, your launch revenue, or how much success looks good on paper, but how you deeply feel your joy by how steady your energy feels, by how free your days and your spirit feels. You'll start asking, does this feel good? You'll care.
about what feels good and it won't feel like a luxury. You'll start asking, am I thriving or am I just performing survival? And third, and this was unexpected when I experienced it, you will grieve. You'll grieve because that hyperproductive version of you that helped you survive, letting her go.
might feel like a failure at first, but she's not gone, she's evolving. And that hyperproductive hustle part of you is just one part of such a more massive, brilliant human being. You will be integrating her into someone who can rest, someone who can receive, and someone who can feel safe. That is real maturity. And that
Kate Bailey (09:38.061)
is real leadership. And now let's talk business. A business on your terms means scaling with capacity, not with fricking chaos. When you stop hustling, you stop building your business like it's a sprint and you start building it like it's a garden. You nurture it. You build around your capacity, not just your ambition. And that might mean taking fewer clients,
but going deeper and raising your rates. It might mean creating long-term offers that honor your energy. It might mean launching in a way that feels sustainable, not stimulating. You have access to and say no more. You say no to underpricing. You say no to moving from any kind of desperation, energetic, financial, or otherwise.
You say no to collaborations that don't honor your values. When you are embodied in your sovereignty, it's so much clearer. Like you might even say no to people and like not even know with your mind, but your body is like giving you a clear signal, like no. Your audience, the people you serve might shift. You'll lose folks who liked your grind.
but you gain humans who love your depth. Your voice becomes magnetic because it's rooted, it's not rushed. And yes, money might feel slower at first, but the lull doesn't last long. And what you gain is stability and longevity. You gain staying power and you become aligned with consistent growth that does not require your sacrificing, your health.
or your boundaries. You build a business, a growth, a nurturing system where you can actually grow without having to hurt or abuse yourself into changing. Being uncomfortable during growth is very different than shaming yourself into doing something or hustling or being so productive that you put your health at risk.
Kate Bailey (11:59.695)
And when it comes down to it, that's what this really is all about, right? Health. It's about life. When you leave the hustle, you don't just change your business. You change how you move through the world. You'll start to crave presence and not just productivity. You'll want to feel your morning. You'll want to taste your lunch. You'll want to laugh with your partner instead of checking notifications during the night.
And you'll also start to feel yourself detoxing because when you're no longer numbing with busyness, the grief shows up, right? Like I said before, that was a thing that kind of surprised me, the grief. You might find yourself crying for no reason. You might slow down and then the things that you haven't been feeling in a while might catch up with you and you might start like purging old fears.
emotions that you never gave yourself time to feel or emotions that you just never had time to feel because of life circumstances, that will start coming up and that's not a failure but in the moment it might feel like it because you're slowing down, you're not being productive, you're not being who you associate you need to be while you're quote unquote winning and so you might see that time as failure but it's not failure, it's healing.
I remember when I first left working in a very patriarchal setting and said no to corporate, this New Yorker did not relax naturally. It took about three whole ass months for my body to come down from all the stress, for my blood pressure to drop about 20 millimeters of mercury. And I realized, finally, I am not in the same environment anymore. And I started to like...
breathe from my belly instead of my chest. And then I started like really getting in touch with like deep joy and appreciation, like real joy, the way the sun hits my skin, reveling in a slow Sunday, letting myself get carried away by a song that like just kind of lifts my spirit away and starts to make my hips move and swirl just while I'm like.
Kate Bailey (14:15.233)
doing absolutely nothing in the kitchen. I started to remember that this is the point. This is the point of carving out a path on my own terms. It's not just the business. It's not just the satisfaction, the cheap satisfaction of attaining a superficial goal or the satisfaction of achieving a dream that I had been like.
dining after for so long. It's about my aliveness. It's about the intimacy and it's about taking my pleasure. Now, Queenie Boo, let's stay grounded in the realm of the real. This shift is not always smooth. You will face judgment from people who are still deep in the cult of the hustle. Fear when money flows differently.
imposter syndrome when your definition of success diverges from the status quo. You will feel resistance to rest because it feels so unfamiliar. And a big one is you might experience boundary backlash from folks who benefited from your burnout and expect you to hustle or move quickly or at a pace that is no longer native to you or your success. But it's important to remember that
This is not just about personal growth. It is a whole damn cultural rebellion. You are rewiring yourself and you are rewriting a system that told women to be small, silent, and self-sacrificing. Especially for women with disabilities or invisible disabilities who have to do triple the work to get half the results and enable a system that wasn't designed to reward outside the box thinkers. It is a rebellion. It is a reclamation.
It is a rejection of there only being one way to do business, life, and be successful. So what does it feel like to be in your play big self, to be in the embodied freedom frequency, to be an embodied sovereign woman? It feels like waking up in a body that feels safe, no matter what you're navigating with your body. It feels like trusting that your value
Kate Bailey (16:43.123)
is so not tied to how busy you are. It feels like creating from overflow, not from being depleted. It's leading with clarity and not proving. It's making money in a way that feels clean, and integrity, generous and easeful. It's feeling your sensuality, your softness.
and your strength. It's knowing you are already enough, knowing you are on your timeline and no one else's. It's knowing you are leading a legacy that begins inside of you. You are the offer. You are the brand. You are the business. You are the brilliance and you are the queen. And this world needs your leadership rooted in sovereignty, health, authenticity,
and sacred pleasure. I still have a spot open for one-to-one private coaching with me. If you would like to explore what private coaching could do for you, or if you just want like a taste of what it's like to have me personally tend to you in whatever you are going through and the big transformations you are making in your life, go to the link in the show notes in the podcast.
and book a free 30 minute connection call. These calls are always pressure free and whether or not you decide it's the right time in your life to do this. On that call, I will be 100 % devoted to giving you all I've got to get you closer to success on your terms. Go to the show notes, click the link to book a call and get on my calendar and let's talk.
Remember, you don't have to hustle to have an impact. You don't have to prove anything to anyone to be powerful. You are already worthy of life, leadership, and a legacy that you dream of. Show up for that version of yourself today because she is waiting and she is ready.
Outro
Okay, that's it for this episode of the Play Big Queen podcast. Thank you so much for sharing your time with me.
Kate Bailey (19:09.74)
as always, eat the fruit, spit out the seeds, take what nourished you, keep what resonated for you, and leave the rest, because ultimately, you know best. This episode is over until next time, but we can keep this thing going. Go to xxxkatebailey.com, scroll to the bottom where it says Join Our Community, and get on the email list to get all the juicy details about all my offerings and where Play Big Queens play together online, on social media, and in person.
We've got a tight community of women claiming their boldest desires, celebrating wins, playing all out, fiercely standing for each other and going higher together. Go to xxxkatebailey.com, put in your email address and confirm your subscription. Once you're in, you'll get all the juicy guides, tips and inspirations and you get notified first about all the offers we have for all the big stuff we're doing over here. Go to xxxkatebailey.com to stay in the loop. That's xxxkatebailey.com.
Also,
I want you to know that my door is always open and I will always make space for you to be heard and to honor your experience. The views expressed in this podcast are through the lens of my personal identity and my own lived experience. I am a European mix, Mediterranean mutt, who is an Italian, Sicilian, cis heterosexual woman born in New York, experiencing the world in a white body as a multiply neurodivergent.
who lives in a neurodiverse and racially blended family. And like everyone else, my one single perspective comes with its own limitations. have done personal and professional work around anti-racism, diversity, equity, equality, and inclusion. I am not a therapist or doctor, and any coaching or advice cannot take the place of professional medical, mental health, or healing help. However, that being said,
Kate Bailey (21:26.739)
What happens in my work is often a very powerful additional supplemental or alternative way to heal around identity work, mindset and emotional wellness. Although I am not a licensed therapist, it is worth noting that in addition to being a mentor, I am trained and certified in emergency medicine and response. I have rendered care to over 20,000 patients in the course of my career. I have taught over 15,000 students, many of which
at learning disabilities that were undiagnosed and came from diverse cultural backgrounds. I was also a private health college adjunct professor who was responsible for training medical professionals on how to respond to trauma and behavioral emergencies. If you approach me with any concern, you will be met with professionalism, compassion, tact, understanding, support, and a readiness and a willingness to advocate for your needs. That being said, sometimes I just get it wrong.
I am a human being on my own growth journey after all. When I mess up, I'm always available for courageous and crucial conversation that makes way for growth and healing. Your experience and voice matters to me. I sincerely welcome any feedback you feel called to share. You can email your comments or concerns to info at playbigqueen.com knowing that I am open to having any and all crucial conversations needed. Okay.
Remember, you are brilliant. Celebrate yourself. Value your own unique way and honor your own timing. Because you can totally create a life and business that feels good and is successful on your terms. Remember to release expectations of what you think your Play Big process should look like and be willing to do the work that needs to be done to Play Big. But most of all, when you come face to face with your boldest desires, remember to trust yourself.
and play big clean.
Kate Bailey (23:26.227)
Hi Queen, I see you're in it for the long game. If you reach this part of the podcast episode, it means you're interested in learning more about my work, my values, my mission, and my community. So let's go deeper together. I am here to activate neurodivergent women to play bigger and to show you that you are so capable of doing big things and that if you value your own unique way and honor your own timing, you will learn to receive your boldest desires and so much more.
In my world, what makes you different is valued, celebrated, honored, and welcome. I welcome all who identify as female and non-binary folk in my Play Big Queens community. We believe in and support LGBTQIA plus 2S, Black Lives Matter, women's and pro-choice rights, and obviously intersectional identities, including disabilities, neurodivergence, and religious beliefs. Personally, I am pro sex worker rights.
pro-Palestinian liberation, against Islamophobia, and against anti-Semitism, and I'm also against any cult-like religions that use beliefs as an excuse to indoctrinate people into abusive, autocratic systems. Like many neurodivergent people, we have big hearts and a strong sense of social justice around here. You are encouraged to stay and play in our Play Big Queen community if you share these values. For those who find the word queen does not resonate.
Perhaps because of imperial associations, the Play Big self archetype can take any form and the invitation and activation remains the same. To learn to embody your Play Big self, to operate from love instead of fear, to go on a Play Big journey in community because you know that no Play Big queen can truly Play Big.
alone. To decide to cultivate the courage to use your voice, unmask, reclaim, embrace, and embody your brilliance and create a life and business that works with the unique way that you work. Through this work, you will come to know the truth of your brilliance deeply. And as you come to know your authentic self, more and more will begin to open up for you. Knowing your unique brilliance will lead to great success and true belonging. In this world, we take the pressure off.
Kate Bailey (25:42.045)
and learn to step off the traditional path so you can blaze your own trail. My mission is to get you motivated, inspired, and equipped to get into massive action and go on your very own Play Big journey. My mission is to empower at least 10,000 women to fully step into their Play Big self by offering healing, transformative, inclusive, and neurodiverse affirming coaching and content.
Through innovative coaching programs, courses, and master classes, we provide the tools, support, sustainability, and community needed to help each woman embrace her unique path to confidence, success, and meaningful impact. If just 10,000 women with invisible disabilities and their allies were empowered with neurodiverse affirming and inclusive communication to express their unique brilliance, step into their authority and autonomy and lead,
the world would experience a profound shift towards inclusivity, innovation, and empathy. These women would break through societal limitations, modeling resilience, creativity, and strength of diversity. Their voices and perspectives, often shaped by unique experiences with challenges and perseverance, would redefine business leadership, inspire systemic change, and create spaces where diverse ways of thinking are not just accepted
but celebrated. Industries and communities would become more accessible and inclusive with practices that honor varied ways of working, communicating, and achieving. This change would ripple into every area of life and society. Workplaces would become more adaptable, offering a culture of respect for individual strengths, health care, and education systems.
would improve centering accessibility and compassion in their approaches and policies would evolve to better support those with invisible challenges benefiting society as a whole. So many women with so much potential are shrinking in the face of their own brilliance, just sitting on the sidelines waiting for permission instead of getting in the game. The activation of the latent potential in these women, their empowerment, making them visible.
Kate Bailey (27:53.865)
would inspire others, reduce stigma around invisible disabilities, and encourage everyone to lead authentically. Their successes will light the way for countless more women to rise, creating a culture of true diversity where every person feels valued, included, and emboldened to contribute their brilliance and lead with it. If you know you are ready for more clarity, confidence, and you want to embody your play big self and be supported around creating the
big vision for your life and business, then send me an email at info at playbigqueen.com telling me why this work is so important for you and we can explore opportunities to work together and make your Play Big dreams a reality.
