Kate Bailey (00:00.239)
Welcome. You are listening to the Play Big Queen podcast. This is for you if you are a woman who is an entrepreneur, business owner, professional, leader, or someone who is deeply committed to personal growth, self-improvement, transformation, and living authentically. This is especially for you if you have an invisible disability, whether you are diagnosed,
undiagnosed, self-diagnosed, or late diagnosed, and you are working on reclaiming your neurodivergent identity, rebuilding confidence, learning what works for your unique brilliance while breaking free from small, people-pleasing conditioning. If you are a visionary change maker interested in advancing your leadership and creating success on your terms, and you want to leave a legacy, if you are navigating disability or neurodiversity as an individual or as an ally, and you are looking for a support
supportive and inclusive environment to thrive, then this is for you. I am your hostess, Kate Bailey. I am the Play Big Queen. My name is my title and a command for all women. Play Big Queen. I invite you to claim this title for yourself and coronate your Play Big self too, if it serves you. I am a business and embodiment mentor working with women who are ready to rise the fuck up and be your bold, beautiful
sexy-ass self, start and grow your big bold vision and claim that you too get to have your boldest desires. I am the creatrix of Kate Bailey LLC, which provides coaching services, educational courses, products and experiences that promote success in neurodiversity advocacy, women's empowerment, embodiment, entrepreneurship and business to serve women on their transformational journey.
To learn more about my company offerings and to get on my email list, go to xxxkatebailey.com. If you would like to learn more about my work, my personal values, my mission and my community, make sure you catch the last five minutes of this episode to go deeper and learn so much more. On this podcast, sometimes we will have guests, sometimes I'll do solo episodes, but every single time you listen, you will expand. So get ready.
Kate Bailey (02:22.04)
It's a new era for women on the Play Big path. Long may we reign.
in their full brilliance. I'm Kate Bailey, host, confidence and embodiment coach, business mentor, neurodiversity advocate, and fellow human who has definitely cried while doomscrolling at 2am and still woke up wanting to change the damn world. Today's episode is going to be a really good one and something that my clients have been talking with me a lot about lately. We're going to talk about setting digital boundaries without guilt.
practicing selective consumerism as a form of activism, staying politically engaged without burning yourself to the ground, and why this matters so deeply, especially if you are neurodivergent, chronically ill, or have invisible disabilities. So let's do it. First and foremost, if you're grappling with digital burnout,
freezing in the face of fascism or the soul gutting feeling of watching everything play out in the world right now. You are not alone and this is not just social media anymore. We are not just talking about cute puppy videos and brunch reels. The internet, especially social media platforms, have become the front lines of information, misinformation, calls to action, trauma exposure, organizing,
the weaponization of propaganda, digital warfare, and truth telling. And it has been these things for a while, but now it is reaching new unprecedented levels, in the United States especially. And if you, dear, are neurodivergent or living with a disability or invisible disability, you likely already live with heightened empathy, maybe even as a highly sensitive person with heightened pattern recognition and social awareness.
Kate Bailey (04:28.495)
You don't just scroll. You absorb. You analyze. You feel it all. So when the algorithm floods you with genocide updates, climate collapse, fascist legislation, stolen rights, police brutality, the legitimization of rape, animal abuse, economic instability, that is not just content that's trauma in your nervous system. And still we care. We want
to informed. We need to be active because silence is complicity and no one is coming to save us if we don't get into and learn to stay in massive action around these major issues. But here's the thing, you cannot give your full fire to everything. Not if you want to stay lit long enough to lead. I want you to know for your own health and for the health
of the world and your communities around you that having and implementing digital boundaries during this time is not selfish. They are sacred. We live in a culture that falsely equates urgency with morality. That if you're not constantly reposting and sharing and donating and shouting that you don't care enough. But urgency is a trauma response.
And what we need now is your calculated, quick, intentional actions. That requires you to know yourself, know your lane, and to know your place in all of this. And also shame and allowing it to drive you to doom scroll is not a sustainable fuel source.
We need your love language to be acts of service to humanity over and over again. So your nervous system needs protection. Your leadership requires longevity. That means scheduling social media time in blocks instead of doom scrolling all day, unfollowing accounts that only traumatize without educating or expanding your perspective, muting all those voices that engage in performative activism for clout.
Kate Bailey (06:47.878)
creating off-screen rituals to process what you're seeing, what you're hearing, and what you're feeling, and giving yourself full permission to take breaks and log off without an apology. Look, I know you. You don't wanna stick your head in the sand. You don't wanna opt out. And you need to know that you're not doing that if you decide to log out for a period of time. In fact, if you do,
you're more likely to do the opposite. You're more likely to opt in and you're more likely to get into massive action from a place of consciousness, intentionality, and from a place of being in your power. And we can't talk about making a massive change without talking about money, can we? So let's talk about money, shall we? Selective consumerism is a form of leadership.
Selective consumerism doesn't mean being a perfect ethical buyer. I'm sorry to disappoint my granola girlies, but you are not going to compost your way out of capitalism. And no, individually you cannot boycott your way into utopia. And those actions matter collectively when we do them, but what is most powerful in this landscape is your dollars are votes, your purchases are stories.
And your alignment queen is your greatest influence. For neurodivergent women and women with disabilities and invisible disabilities especially, who are often under-resourced, underestimated, and underrepresented, where we spend and earn as a group, as a collective, as a community is deeply political.
And I'm not just talking about where we spend and earn our money. I'm talking about where we spend and earn our energy and our time is everything. Supporting small, ethical, black, indigenous, persons of color, own, disabled, own, queer led, neurodivergent led businesses matters. Withholding your money from companies that dismantle DEI, exploit, extract, or greenwash also matters. Creating your own inclusive
Kate Bailey (09:04.625)
business that is a direct reflection of your values deeply matters now more than ever. do not need more noise, we need more aligned action and sometimes that starts with what you put in your cart. Now this is the part that they don't teach you in the startup world, the world of entrepreneurship, but hustle and burnout is not leadership.
Mama, if you burn out trying to fix everything, trying to be perfect, trying to constantly prove your morality or awareness of the issues at stake or political landscape at hand, you are not helping anyone. You are just running yourself ragged and you are just extinguishing your own light. And hear me when I say the world needs your light. We need it. We truly need it.
now more than ever. I want you to hear the sincerity and authenticity and intention and realness in my voice. We need your light. You cannot let yourself burn out. You do not need to do it all. What you need is to know what is yours to do. You need to take time to understand where your lane is in all of this. That's why I teach sustainable business models that honor your energy,
That is why I coach women to sell in a way that uplifts, not depletes. And that is why the Play Big Queen movement exists. That is why I've been talking about this since 2019. The relationship with yourself is the basis for every other relationship. And you cannot dismantle systems of oppression.
by recreating the same old relationship dynamics in your life or your business. Your business and your online activity should support your activism, not drain your soul. Your marketing should reflect your values, not create more anxiety. And your life, you're precious, sweetheart, you're one of a kind, neuro spicy life.
Kate Bailey (11:24.404)
should feel like it belongs to you again. And I have to take a quick moment to just drill this point home again for the gajillionth time. You are not meant to do this alone. Isolation is a tactic of oppression. Disconnection is a tool of burnout. And community, my queen, community is medicine.
Even with all the chaos online, social media can still be a lifeline. It can be the place you find your people, your community, your sisterhood, your support, your movement, your power. It's how many of us, especially those with disabilities or limited mobility, even with the inherently ableist social media platforms, it's how many of us manage to find connection, belonging, true belonging.
resources, solidarity, and real change. It is how we amplify unheard voices. It is how we organize and no fluff a lot of the time. It's how we keep each other alive. So yes, remember the three big rules of playing big queen. Sleep when you're tired, eat when you're hungry, and don't do dumb shit.
Dumb shit would be burning out in a doom scroll with no direction. I mean, we've all been there, but we don't want to stay there, right? Curate what you consume like the creatrix that you are, but don't disappear from your communities. Don't ghost the people who hold your heart. This is the time to deepen relationships. With everything going on in the world, community and support is more important now more than ever.
So deepen your relationships, be real, be transparent, have hard conversations with grace, let people see you, check on your people. This is the time to stay tethered to the light and actively pull in those who start to get set adrift. Digital boundaries don't mean cutting yourself off. They mean building stronger bridges with intention. And if you are building a business,
Kate Bailey (13:46.666)
Community isn't just marketing, it is the movement. Your work should feel like a gathering place for people to be seen, heard, and activated. That is leadership. That is legacy. And that, my queen, is playing big. Now to everyone listening who has ever felt like her fire was way too much, you're too angry, too sensitive, too intense, I want you to hear me. You were and are never too much.
You were made for this. Your voice, the things that you are here to say and be and do with a burning passion is a gift that you have been given so you can illuminate others with your fire, but not so you can incinerate yourself. You are not just here to survive. You are here to shape culture. You are here to lead, to heal, to shift the way.
we do business, the way we care for one another and create futures that we actually want to fucking live in. This is not a trend. This is a paradigm shift. And it starts with you choosing presence over performance. That's the mantra. Presence over performance. Clarity over chaos. And your boundaries
your boundaries over burnout. And if you've always kind of struggled with boundaries and you're like, still kind of don't get them or they're hard for me to set, the simplest and quickest way to understand boundaries is this. Boundaries are based on your values. Boundaries are either a yes or a no to whatever comes your way every
choice, action, or behavior that you could possibly make. It's a yes or a no to those things based on your values. So for example, if you value growth in your business, you are a yes to aligned expansion, and you are a no to burnout disguised as success. So for this week, I want to invite you into a Play Big practice. Audit your digital space. Ask yourself, who drains you?
Kate Bailey (16:06.432)
Who nourishes you? What is no longer aligned? Check on your spending. What businesses reflect your values? Who deserves your cash? Reconnect. Think about who's in your circle. Who in your circle is lifting you up? Who makes you feel more expansive? And who have you been meaning to reach out to?
and super important with everything going on in the world today. Recommit to your long game. What is your bigger vision? What actually matters to you?
And then when you've taken a moment to reflect, breathe. You do not have to do it all. But as I said before, you do have a role to play. So choose it intentionally and deliberately, and then play your role brilliantly. If this episode speaks to your heart, share it with a queen who needs this message now.
And if you are ready to build a business that reflects your values and sustains your energy, or if you are ready for a big transformation in life or business and you are ready to get clear, confident, and supported for this next phase in your life, then you can book a free 30-minute connection call with me to explore how private coaching can help you during this season of your life.
Booking a call is really easy. You just go to the show notes and find the link and then you book the call at the time that works for you and we'll have a relaxed conversation about how I could help. Until next time, protect your fire, stay in community, lead with love and Play Big. Okay, that's it for this episode of the Play Big Queen podcast. Thank you so much for sharing your time with me.
Kate Bailey (18:09.094)
as always, eat the fruit, spit out the seeds, take what nourished you, keep what resonated for you, and leave the rest, because ultimately, you know best. This episode is over until next time, but we can keep this thing going. Go to xxxkatebailey.com, scroll to the bottom where it says Join Our Community, and get on the email list to get all the juicy details about all my offerings and where PlayBigQueens play together online, on social media, and in person.
We've got a tight community of women claiming their boldest desires, celebrating wins, playing all out, fiercely standing for each other and going higher together. Go to xxxkatebailey.com, put in your email address and confirm your subscription. Once you're in, you'll get all the juicy guides, tips and inspirations and you get notified first about all the offers we have for all the big stuff we're doing over here. Go to xxxkatebailey.com to stay in the loop. That's xxxkatebailey.com.
If you like what you heard in this podcast, share it with your friends, and if you got something from this, I would appreciate some reviews and ratings. When you take the time to review the podcast, it helps our podcast get out to more women who need it. If you haven't already, head over to iTunes and Spotify and show PlayBigQueen some love. Also,
I want you to know that my door is always open and I will always make space for you to be heard and to honor your experience. The views expressed in this podcast are through the lens of my personal identity and my own lived experience. I am a European mix, Mediterranean mutt, who is an Italian, Sicilian, cis heterosexual woman born in New York, experiencing the world in a white body as a multiply neurodivergent.
who lives in a neurodiverse and racially blended family. And like everyone else, my one single perspective comes with its own limitations. I have done personal and professional work around anti-racism, diversity, equity, equality, and inclusion. I am not a therapist or doctor, and any coaching or advice cannot take the place of professional medical, mental health, or healing help. However, that being said,
Kate Bailey (20:26.096)
What happens in my work is often a very powerful additional supplemental or alternative way to heal around identity work, mindset and emotional wellness. Although I am not a licensed therapist, it is worth noting that in addition to being a mentor, I am trained and certified in emergency medicine and response. I have rendered care to over 20,000 patients in the course of my career. I have taught over 15,000 students, many of which
at learning disabilities that were undiagnosed and came from diverse cultural backgrounds. I was also a private health college adjunct professor who was responsible for training medical professionals on how to respond to trauma and behavioral emergencies. If you approach me with any concern, you will be met with professionalism, compassion, tact, understanding, support, and a readiness and a willingness to advocate for your needs. That being said, sometimes I just get it wrong.
I am a human being on my own growth journey after all. When I mess up, I'm always available for courageous and crucial conversation that makes way for growth and healing. Your experience and voice matters to me. I sincerely welcome any feedback you feel called to share. You can email your comments or concerns to info at playbigqueen.com knowing that I am open to having any and all crucial conversations needed. Okay.
Remember, you are brilliant. Celebrate yourself. Value your own unique way and honor your own timing. Because you can totally create a life and business that feels good and is successful on your terms. Remember to release expectations of what you think your Play Big process should look like and be willing to do the work that needs to be done to Play Big. But most of all, when you come face to face with your boldest desires, remember to trust yourself.
and play big clean.
Kate Bailey (22:25.532)
Hi, queen. I see you're in it for the long game. If you reach this part of the podcast episode, it means you're interested in learning more about my work, my values, my mission, and my community. So let's go deeper together. I am here to activate neurodivergent women to play bigger and to show you that you are so capable of doing big things and that if you value your own unique way and honor your own timing, you will learn to receive your boldest desires and so much more.
In my world, what makes you different is valued, celebrated, honored, and welcome. I welcome all who identify as female and non-binary folk in my Play Big Queens community. We believe in and support LGBTQIA plus 2S, Black Lives Matter, women's and pro-choice rights, and obviously intersectional identities, including disabilities, neurodivergence, and religious beliefs. Personally, I am pro sex worker rights.
pro-Palestinian liberation, against Islamophobia, and against anti-Semitism, and I'm also against any cult-like religions that use beliefs as an excuse to indoctrinate people into abusive, autocratic systems. Like many neurodivergent people, we have big hearts and a strong sense of social justice around here. You are encouraged to stay and play in our Play Big Queen community if you share these values. For those who find the word queen does not resonate.
Perhaps because of imperial associations, the Play Big self archetype can take any form and the invitation and activation remains the same. To learn to embody your Play Big self, to operate from love instead of fear, to go on a Play Big journey in community because you know that no Play Big queen can truly Play Big.
alone. To decide to cultivate the courage to use your voice, unmask, reclaim, embrace, and embody your brilliance and create a life and business that works with the unique way that you work. Through this work, you will come to know the truth of your brilliance deeply. And as you come to know your authentic self, more and more will begin to open up for you. Knowing your unique brilliance will lead to great success and true belonging. In this world, we take the pressure off.
Kate Bailey (24:41.402)
and learn to step off the traditional path so you can blaze your own trail. My mission is to get you motivated, inspired, and equipped to get into massive action and go on your very own Play Big journey. My mission is to empower at least 10,000 women to fully step into their Play Big self by offering healing, transformative, inclusive, and neurodiverse affirming coaching and content.
Through innovative coaching programs, courses, and master classes, we provide the tools, support, sustainability, and community needed to help each woman embrace her unique path to confidence, success, and meaningful impact. If just 10,000 women with invisible disabilities and their allies were empowered with neurodiverse affirming and inclusive communication to express their unique brilliance, step into their authority and autonomy and lead.
the world would experience a profound shift towards inclusivity, innovation, and empathy. These women would break through societal limitations, modeling resilience, creativity, and strength of diversity. Their voices and perspectives, often shaped by unique experiences with challenges and perseverance, would redefine business leadership, inspire systemic change, and create spaces where diverse ways of thinking are not just accepted
but celebrated. Industries and communities would become more accessible and inclusive with practices that honor varied ways of working, communicating, and achieving. This change would ripple into every area of life and society. Workplaces would become more adaptable, offering a culture of respect for individual strengths, health care, and education systems.
would improve centering accessibility and compassion in their approaches and policies would evolve to better support those with invisible challenges benefiting society as a whole. So many women with so much potential are shrinking in the face of their own brilliance, just sitting on the sidelines waiting for permission instead of getting in the game. The activation of the latent potential in these women, their empowerment, making them visible,
Kate Bailey (26:53.2)
would inspire others, reduce stigma around invisible disabilities, and encourage everyone to lead authentically. Their successes will light the way for countless more women to rise, creating a culture of true diversity where every person feels valued, included, and emboldened to contribute their brilliance and lead with it. If you know you are ready for more clarity, confidence, and you want to embody your play big self and be supported around creating the
big vision for your life and business, then send me an email at info at playbigqueen.com telling me why this work is so important for you and we can explore opportunities to work together and make your Play Big dreams a reality.
