Kate Bailey (00:00.239)
Welcome. You are listening to the Play Big Queen podcast. This is for you if you are a woman who is an entrepreneur, business owner, professional, leader, or someone who is deeply committed to personal growth, self-improvement, transformation, and living authentically. This is especially for you if you have an invisible disability, whether you are diagnosed,
undiagnosed, self-diagnosed, or late diagnosed, and you are working on reclaiming your neurodivergent identity, rebuilding confidence, learning what works for your unique brilliance while breaking free from small, people-pleasing conditioning. If you are a visionary change maker interested in advancing your leadership and creating success on your terms, and you want to leave a legacy, if you are navigating disability or neurodiversity as an individual or as an ally, and you are looking for a support
supportive and inclusive environment to thrive, then this is for you. I am your hostess, Kate Bailey. I am the Play Big Queen. My name is my title and a command for all women. Play Big Queen. I invite you to claim this title for yourself and coronate your Play Big self too, if it serves you. I am a business and embodiment mentor working with women who are ready to rise the fuck up and be your bold, beautiful
sexy-ass self, start and grow your big bold vision and claim that you too get to have your boldest desires. I am the creatrix of Kate Bailey LLC, which provides coaching services, educational courses, products and experiences that promote success in neurodiversity advocacy, women's empowerment, embodiment, entrepreneurship and business to serve women on their transformational journey.
To learn more about my company offerings and to get on my email list, go to xxxkatebailey.com. If you would like to learn more about my work, my personal values, my mission and my community, make sure you catch the last five minutes of this episode to go deeper and learn so much more. On this podcast, sometimes we will have guests, sometimes I'll do solo episodes, but every single time you listen, you will expand. So get ready.
Kate Bailey (02:22.04)
It's a new era for women on the Play Big path. Long may we reign. Hello, Lover Queen. This is episode 12. 12 is one of my sacred and spiritual numbers, and this episode is going to activate the Play Big spirit within you. I'm recording this episode at night from a hotel room in Denver, Colorado, specifically from a room painted by a local artist named Jackie Calvert.
The room is called Neon Swan at the Akoma House. And honestly, that name alone feels like a portal. There's exposed brick next to a kitchen net with a retro refrigerator. And it reminds me of the artist loft that I used to live at at 49 Bogart Street in Brooklyn, New York. If you're ever in front of that apartment building in Brooklyn, look at the cement on the sidewalk and it will have the nickname that my family gave me, Katie Boo, etched into the street.
This hotel room has floor to ceiling windows overlooking an alleyway. There's a pink feather lamp in the corner and silk peonies on the table. I have a chandelier over my bed, plush pink furniture, deep blue and turquoise walls behind a Moroccan style headboard, an emerald green bathroom with gold and white accents, and a claw foot tub.
It is by no means a five-star hotel, but this place is pregnant with creative energy. And let me tell you something, Jackie, the artist, saw me when she painted this room and helped prep this space for me long before I even came this weekend. It feels like the perfect place to record this episode. This is my birthday road trip. turned 44 on March 12th.
and I wanted to enter this next year in my life calling my energy back to myself. So I did something that I don't often do, but something that I am always willing to do. I designed my life, my business, and I designed my birthday celebrations to align with my truth, my needs, and my nervous system. And this year, my truth was that I needed to take a solo road trip to celebrate. No husband, kids, pets,
Kate Bailey (04:44.976)
no business or healing retreat, just me, the mountains, my music, and a handful of dear friends along the way. And today I wanna talk about what happens when you boldly claim your desires, when you lead yourself through your life and your dreams, and when your vision starts getting real. Let me say this first and loud. If you have a desire,
whether it's a desire for a moment you want to create, a business, a full body transformation, or a life that's still just in its dreamy vision form, you must be willing to go first. That is both the magic and the medicine. Going first isn't just about action. It's not about behaving like a
play big queen or even choosing what's always best for you. It's about alignment. This trip, like so many other experiences and trips I take through my life, was a series of decisions that I made in full-bodied leadership. Stopping to see my friend, another confidence
coach and soul sister Lacey and her husband in Albuquerque to have sushi, stopping in Santa Fe at one of the best cafes where I could finally find a gluten free muffin and a good cup of chai. Driving to Louisville to visit Lindsay and meet her partner and her stepdaughter to eat and laugh and play games. Landing here in Denver to soak
rest, write, and explore possibility with DeBora who's doing incredible work with AI and photography in the coaching spaces. Pole dance class, Italian dinner, self-pleasure sessions, tea rooms.
Kate Bailey (06:46.321)
Taking pleasure in dropping off care packages for the people I love and who were bold enough to say yes to intersecting with me on my journey to fulfilling my birthday desires. Bath bombs and candlelight soaks in a claw foot bathtub. This trip has been so dreamy because I led myself and my experience the entire way.
I effortlessly transitioned between being clear and decisive on the things that were important to me and then going with the flow and surrendering where I could make space for others to get their needs met and be fully expressed. you know, leading up to this trip, so many people gave me that side eye when I told them that I was taking a 10 hour plus road trip alone.
not my husband or my immediate family of course they support me. But there were so many other casual acquaintances who were like, won't you be lonely? Aren't you scared to travel as a woman by yourself on the desert road? Why wouldn't you bring someone? The car rental guy said, don't you want the insurance policy? I said, look, I am the insurance policy. They don't get it. They don't understand.
how deeply I trust myself. They don't understand how committed I am to showing up in all the ways. And they certainly don't understand that I have broken the habit of abandoning myself just to make other people comfortable. And something that those people who ask those types of questions don't understand that I wish they did because it would help them so much too, is that
I don't ever feel alone in the world because I am always with myself now. Listen, to me, leadership isn't about performing for others. Embodied leadership looks like this. It's about choosing. What do I need? What do I desire? What will nourish me, stretch me, and honor me? What will deepen my connections to people I am starting to fall in love with in this life or those who I deeply care for?
Kate Bailey (09:01.376)
For me on this trip, that meant an itinerary with room to go off script as I pleased, privacy and downtime, beauty and artistry in my space, one-on-one connections, not big group chaos, good food, good conversation, and a whole lot of embodiment. This trip reminded me that you are never truly alone when you are not hiding from yourself.
As a multiply neurodivergent woman with ADHD, I've learned that solo does not mean lonely. It means sovereign. But here's where I want to take you deeper. Let's talk about what happens when you do finally name a desire, whether it's a desire that feels big to you or a desire that seems outrageous to other people. When you decide to manifest something real, like a trip,
business or a transformation. It is gorgeous at first, The vision of your dream brand, your empire, your dream journey or trip or your self-expression. It all feels so effortless when it's still up in your imagination. But then when we start to pull down the idea from the ethers into your reality, where you go to do the work,
to make your big bold vision real, then you hit the border. This is what Dr. Maria Namath in her book, The Energy of Money calls trouble at the border. It's that moment where your intention meets implementation. It's that awesome moment where the energy of the dream starts condensing and coagulating into mass and it starts to form in the 3D world.
And then suddenly it feels heavy. It doesn't feel light and dreamy and good anymore. It feels intimidating. It feels like you've landed at a border crossing where it's crowded and busy with cranky people, dogs sniffing through your stuff, and customs agents are demanding to see your papers and agents are rifling through your clothes and your bags. You feel overwhelmed, tired, vulnerable, exposed, out of your depth.
Kate Bailey (11:26.815)
confused and like you did something wrong when you didn't. You're unsure if you brought the right papers, you don't know the process, and you sure as hell don't know the rules. You don't speak the language and you don't have the confidence yet to handle any situation that comes up on your journey. And it feels so much easier to just turn around and go home instead of forging ahead to your dream destination.
Trouble at the border, this place, is where so many women stop. They say, maybe the timing isn't right. They say, maybe I'm not ready. They say, maybe I just need more clarity and to learn more. But Queen, you do not need more clarity. You need more courage. Trouble at the border is not a sign to quit. It's a sign that you are on the threshold of
creating or doing or being something bigger than you have ever been before. It's not that something's wrong. It's that something is happening. Your dream is becoming real. And that is where self-leadership becomes a non-negotiable. And I know this saying is cliche, but Queen, that next chapter of your life is not going to write itself. But...
If you do not want to, you do not have to go it alone. There are people and tour guides that you can hire to help you get through customs. And this is where having the right coach, the one who gets your brilliance, maybe someone who understands your neuro spicy brain, someone who understands your softness and your fucking fire, having that person changes everything. A mentor who is beside you.
and helps you to keep moving when you find yourself in that messy middle where so many people quit, where you are so close to transformation, when the first steps aren't glamorous, when you are tired, unsure, overstimulated, and yet you are still so close but can't see it through all the commotion and all the troubles you're experiencing at the border.
Kate Bailey (13:52.903)
Here is what I've learned about the women who come to me for coaching. They are not chasing gold stars. They're not looking for perfection. And they are not trying to be someone else. They're definitely not trying to do it like me. They want a business and a life that feels like theirs. They want clarity. They want confidence, sensuality, stability.
and they want to come home to their selves, their aliveness and build from there. And if that's you, if you are feeling the pull to finally trust yourself, to create your empire instead of just thinking about it, to feel powerful in your body again, to stop hustling and start embodying your success, then send me an email at info at playbigqueen.com and ask me about how to set up
to talk about what private coaching with me would look like for you. I have one open private mentorship spot and if it's yours, I want you to claim it. You do not need permission, you just need to go first. And then, after you claim your spot, I will have the honor and the absolute pleasure of walking beside you while you grow and birth this new version of yourself.
Happy birthday to me and maybe happy rebirth to you. What are you craving? What dream are you ready to make real? Whatever it is, don't wait, don't shrink, and don't sideline yourself. You can cross the border. You can create the life and business you see in your mind and that you know in your heart.
You have to find out what it would be like to make it real in this one lifetime we get. And you'd never have to do it alone. You start by refusing to abandon yourself and your desires. You take that first step towards what you want. And the people that are meant to support you on your journey will appear. And it's up to you to stay committed to playing big.
Kate Bailey (16:16.051)
and crossing the border. That's it for this episode. Until next time, stay bold, stay brilliant, and stay embodied in your Play Big Self Queen. Okay, that's it for this episode of the Play Big Queen podcast. Thank you so much for sharing your time with me. As always, eat the fruit, spit out the seeds, take what nourishes you, keep what resonated for you, and leave the rest because ultimately, you know best.
This episode is over until next time, we can keep this thing going. Go to xxxkatebailey.com, scroll to the bottom where it says, Join Our Community, and get on the email list to get all the juicy details about all my offerings and where Play Big Queens play together online, on social media, and in person. We've got a tight community of women claiming their boldest desires, celebrating wins, playing all out, fiercely standing for each other.
and going higher together. Go to xxxkatebailey.com, put in your email address and confirm your subscription. Once you're in, you'll get all the juicy guides, tips and inspirations and you'll get notified first about all the offers we have for all the big stuff we're doing over here. Go to xxxkatebailey.com to stay in the loop. That's xxxkatebailey.com.
If you like what you heard in this podcast, subscribe, share it with your friends. And if you got something from this, I would appreciate some reviews and ratings. When you take the time to review the podcast, it helps our podcast get out to more women who need it. If you haven't already, head over to iTunes and Spotify and show Play Big Queen some love. Also,
I want you to know that my door is always open and I will always make space for you to be heard and to honor your experience. The views expressed in this podcast are through the lens of my personal identity and my own lived experience. I am a European mix, Mediterranean mutt, who is an Italian, Sicilian, cis heterosexual woman born in New York, experiencing the world in a white body as a multiply neurodivergent.
Kate Bailey (18:24.543)
who lives in a neurodiverse and racially blended family. And like everyone else, my one single perspective comes with its own limitations. I have done personal and professional work around anti-racism, diversity, equity, equality, and inclusion. I am not a therapist or doctor, and any coaching or advice cannot take the place of professional medical, mental health, or healing help. However, that being said,
What happens in my work is often a very powerful additional supplemental or alternative way to heal around identity work, mindset and emotional wellness. Although I am not a licensed therapist, it is worth noting that in addition to being a mentor, I am trained and certified in emergency medicine and response. I have rendered care to over 20,000 patients in the course of my career. I have taught over 15,000 students, many of which
at learning disabilities that were undiagnosed and came from diverse cultural backgrounds. I was also a private health college adjunct professor who was responsible for training medical professionals on how to respond to trauma and behavioral emergencies. If you approach me with any concern, you will be met with professionalism, compassion, tact, understanding, support, and a readiness and a willingness to advocate for your needs. That being said, sometimes I just get it wrong.
I am a human being on my own growth journey after all. When I mess up, I'm always available for courageous and crucial conversation that makes way for growth and healing. Your experience and voice matters to me. I sincerely welcome any feedback you feel called to share. You can email your comments or concerns to info at playbigqueen.com knowing that I am open to having any and all crucial conversations needed. Okay, remember,
You are brilliant. Celebrate yourself. Value your own unique way and honor your own timing. Because you can totally create a life and business that feels good and is successful on your terms. Remember to release expectations of what you think your Play Big process should look like and be willing to do the work that needs to be done to play big. But most of all, when you come face to face with your boldest desires, remember to trust yourself and Play Big Clean.
Kate Bailey (20:51.967)
Hi, Queen. I see you're in it for the long game. If you reach this part of the podcast episode, it means you're interested in learning more about my work, my values, my mission, and my community. So let's go deeper together. I am here to activate neurodivergent women to play bigger and to show you that you are so capable of doing big things and that if you value your own unique way and honor your own timing, you will learn to receive your boldest desires and so much more.
In my world, what makes you different is valued, celebrated, honored, and welcome. I welcome all who identify as female and non-binary folk in my Play Big Queens community. We believe in and support LGBTQIA plus 2S, Black Lives Matter, women's and pro-choice rights, and obviously intersectional identities, including disabilities, neurodivergence, and religious beliefs. Personally, I am pro sex worker rights.
pro-Palestinian liberation, against Islamophobia, and against anti-Semitism, and I'm also against any cult-like religions that use beliefs as an excuse to indoctrinate people into abusive, autocratic systems. Like many neurodivergent people, we have big hearts and a strong sense of social justice around here. You are encouraged to stay and play in our Play Big Queen community if you share these values. For those who find the word queen does not resonate.
Perhaps because of imperial associations, the Play Big self archetype can take any form and the invitation and activation remains the same. To learn to embody your Play Big self, to operate from love instead of fear, to go on a Play Big journey in community because you know that no Play Big queen can truly Play Big.
alone. To decide to cultivate the courage to use your voice, unmask, reclaim, embrace and embody your brilliance and create a life and business that works with the unique way that you work. Through this work, you will come to know the truth of your brilliance deeply. And as you come to know your authentic self, more and more will begin to open up for you. Knowing your unique brilliance will lead to great success and true belonging. In this world, we take the pressure off.
Kate Bailey (23:07.859)
and learn to step off the traditional path so you can blaze your own trail. My mission is to get you motivated, inspired, and equipped to get into massive action and go on your very own Play Big journey. My mission is to empower at least 10,000 women to fully step into their Play Big self by offering healing, transformative, inclusive, and neurodiverse affirming coaching and content.
Through innovative coaching programs, courses, and master classes, we provide the tools, support, sustainability, and community needed to help each woman embrace her unique path to confidence, success, and meaningful impact. If just 10,000 women with invisible disabilities and their allies were empowered with neurodiverse affirming and inclusive communication to express their unique brilliance, step into their authority and autonomy and lead,
the world would experience a profound shift towards inclusivity, innovation, and empathy. These women would break through societal limitations, modeling resilience, creativity, and strength of diversity. Their voices and perspectives, often shaped by unique experiences with challenges and perseverance, would redefine business leadership, inspire systemic change, and create spaces where diverse ways of thinking are not just accepted
but celebrated. Industries and communities would become more accessible and inclusive with practices that honor varied ways of working, communicating, and achieving. This change would ripple into every area of life and society. Workplaces would become more adaptable, offering a culture of respect for individual strengths, health care, and education systems.
would improve centering accessibility and compassion in their approaches and policies would evolve to better support those with invisible challenges benefiting society as a whole. So many women with so much potential are shrinking in the face of their own brilliance, just sitting on the sidelines waiting for permission instead of getting in the game. The activation of the latent potential in these women, their empowerment, making them visible.
Kate Bailey (25:19.657)
would inspire others, reduce stigma around invisible disabilities, and encourage everyone to lead authentically. Their successes will light the way for countless more women to rise, creating a culture of true diversity where every person feels valued, included, and emboldened to contribute their brilliance and lead with it. If you know you are ready for more clarity, confidence, and you want to embody your play big self and be supported around creating the
big vision for your life and business, then send me an email at info at playbigqueen.com telling me why this work is so important for you and we can explore opportunities to work together and make your Play Big dreams a reality.
