Why We Should Collectively Refuse to Market to Pain

It’s a well-known psychological truth that humans are wired to respond to pain more intensely than pleasure.

Survival instincts prioritize avoiding danger over seeking joy.

This is why pain-point marketing works so well…

because it activates urgency, triggers fear, and convinces people they need your solution right now.

The problem with using this strategy is that pain-based marketing often exploits people who are just trying to survive.

and in the coaching industry, coaches are marketing to pain at the same time they are coercing people into "shifting their mindset into faith that they can figure out how to make payments."

There are many people who were able to sky rocket profits during Covid because fear was at an all time high and pain point marketing capitalizes on fear.

and I’m not saying all people * intentionally * aimed to capitalize on fear (although some did). I am saying the unconscious practice of pain point marketing is effective for profits… but ultimately… perpetuates more pain and success only for the top 1% of people marketed to in this way… I mean… sound familiar?

This is reflective of the predatory/cannibalistic nature of the capitalistic system that we are seeing play out right now in politics and digital dictatorships with brazen ownership of 1% authority without accountability - reinforcing systems of pain, oppression and control…

and when we position a product or service as the only way out… we inadvertently prey on self-doubt, scarcity, and fear rather than empowering real choice, freedom and autonomy. We sell “freedom” and we deliver “pain” with this approach.

This is the reason so many businesses rely on FOMO, shame, and pressure tactics.

and we all do it to some degree or another because this is how we’ve been taught.

I am no exception…
there is language in my marketing and messaging that is currently being reworked to be purged from my business’s dialect… because when we know better, we do better...

...and I truly believe that it doesn’t have to be this way…

and further…

that the future of conscious, relationship-based coaching businesses revolves around, not just higher ethical standards, but refusing to engage in systems that perpetuate individual and community exploitation.


Aspirational Marketing:
Speaking to the Empowered Buyer

Instead of centering pain, aspirational marketing focuses on vision, possibility, and expansion.

This strategy naturally speaks to people who have a certain level of stability.

 

and to be clear… it’s not because they’re “better” customers, it’s because they’re able to invest in their future from a place of choice, not desperation.

Instead of…

“Are you struggling with X? Here’s the fix.”

Try…

“You already have brilliance within you. Here’s how to step into it fully.”

Instead of…

“Overwhelmed by your to-do list? Get organized with this planner!”

Try…

“You move through life with clarity and intention. This planner is designed to match your brilliance.”

Instead of…

“Feeling stuck in your business? Here’s how to get unstuck.”

Try…

“You’re already building something powerful. Let’s refine your strategy so it works at your level.”

Instead of…

“Struggling to attract high-end clients? Follow these steps.”

Try…

“You’re ready to elevate your clientele to match the value you bring. Here’s how to make that effortless.”

Instead of…

“Tired of guessing what to post on social media? This strategy will help.”

Try…

“Your brand deserves to be seen with clarity and confidence. Here’s how to create content that magnetizes.”

Instead of…

“Are you undercharging for your services? Here’s how to raise your prices.”

Try…

“Your work is deeply valuable. Let’s position your pricing to reflect that powerfully.”

Instead of…

“Do you feel like you’re always ‘too much’ or ‘not enough’? Here’s how to stop.”

Try…

“You are a force. It’s time to own your presence and take up space fully.”

Instead of…

“Worried about how others perceive you? Here’s how to build confidence.”

Try…

“Your confidence isn’t about being liked—it’s about knowing your worth. Let’s amplify that.”

Instead of…

“Burned out from overdelivering? Here’s how to set boundaries.”

Try…

“Your time and energy are premium. Here’s how to lead with spaciousness and ease.”

Now do the examples with the big red X sound more motivating?
Absolutely.
Pain is a great and more powerful motivator.

but the ones with the green check marks have a filtration system built-in so you can magnetize clients that are truly ready, willing and able.

This approach doesn’t manipulate.
It doesn’t pressure.
It invites.

and when people invest from a place of possibility instead of pain, they show up differently.

They’re more engaged, more committed, and more likely to succeed because they’re not hoping a product or service will “fix” their entire life.


The Truth About Transformation

No single program, service, or offer can be the answer to someone’s survival.

and no ethical business should market itself that way.

Yes, people seek change because they feel a gap between where they are and where they want to be.

but empowerment-based marketing recognizes their agency and autonomy, sees them as the authority on their lived experience, honors their intelligence, and trusts them to make the best decision for themselves.

I want the people who say YES to my work to do so because they feel excited, aligned, and ready…

NOT because they’re scared of what will happen if they don’t.

That’s how we build brands with integrity.

That’s how we attract the right people that don’t default on payments.

and that’s how we create real, lasting impact.

The ones who want to do more than just secure their personal bag and survive the game - but the true disruptors and leaders who actually want to change it - will be the first ones to refuse to engage in pain-point marketing and develop wildly successful businesses built on aspiration.

I was talking about this with a friend last night...

The sad simple truth is,
it doesn't take much to disrupt the system
or the status quo.

You just have to give a shit about people and the truth.... and act like it.

#businesssuccess #businesscoaching #businessgrowth #businessowner #businesstips

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[Image Description: Soft Black Background with center adjusted text in white, coral pink color with the copy “Why Are Humans More Motivated By Pain Than Pleasure? and Why We Should Collectively Refuse to Market to Pain." in Aileron font. “Motivated by Pain” and “Collectively Refuse” are the only words in coral pink, and the rest of the text is in white. Under that is a line of text reading “with Kate Bailey” in Marriage font in coral pink text, then under that “*Share with people who might need it.” in small white Aileron front with “@playbigqueen” in a faded watermark in Ovo font.]