Identifying Red Flags vs Green Flags in Trauma Informed Coaching

Many coaches claim to offer trauma-informed or trauma-trained coaching, but in reality they often fall short and in some cases, they cause more harm than good.

People who exist outside the neurocognitive average, those with invisible disabilities, and individuals from marginalized communities are more likely to experience trauma due to systemic inequities. They are also at greater risk when coaches misinterpret their systemic challenges as personal failings… something the coach then feels entitled to point out, “support,” or “fix.”

Especially self-proclaimed trauma coaches who lack any actual trauma or medical training often misinterpret individual behaviors. Many baseline traits related to speech, nervous system regulation, emotional regulation, or motor responses in neurodivergent individuals can resemble trauma responses to an untrained eye.

When a coach attempts to “heal” someone or tries to get them to have a “breakthrough” or “accept radical responsibility” especially say for example for an undiagnosed autistic person… they risk causing significant harm. and in many ways this can be as traumatizing as conversion therapy because this approach frames natural neurodivergent traits as something to be “fixed” rather than understood and supported.

When I see my fellow ND people and persons with invisible disabilities working with coaches who mistreat them, it feels like watching a friend in an abusive relationship with that one person everyone knows they should leave.

It’s like… friend… no shame… but your “picker” is clearly off. The red flag alert system isn’t working. We need to take a moment to debrief what you identify as loving versus what is actually harmful and traumatizing in coaching spaces.

because the sad truth is, abuse… in all its forms… in all relationships… can start out looking loving and well-intentioned. It’s not always obvious at first…. not to the coach or to the client.

Many coaches claim to be “trauma-informed,” but lack actual training, ethics, and boundaries. Some even use trauma as a sales and marketing tool rather than approaching it with responsibility and care.

If you’re looking for a coach who is truly trauma-informed, here’s a breakdown of red flags to avoid and green flags to look for before investing....

The main purpose/center of this post is a Red Flag / Green Flag guide to help my communities get better at choosing the right coaches.

If trauma coaches improve from reading this too... then bonus.

*Remember the above when commenting.

A note on accessibility: I try to minimize emoji use because as someone who relies on an audio reader to listen to text, I know how frustrating it can be when emojis don’t translate accurately. For example, a “Red Flag” emoji is read as “triangular flag on post” with no mention of color, which makes it harder to interpret the intended meaning.

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Here are some Red Flags and Green Flags you can look for in a potential coach to determine whether they are truly trauma-trained or trauma-informed…

Red Flags vs. Green Flags
in Trauma-Informed/Trained Coaching
i.e. How to Spot Coaches Who Claim to
Be Trauma-Informed but Cause Harm

Red Flags:
Signs a Coach is NOT Truly Trauma-Informed

Red Flag #1
No Verified Trauma Training or Mental Health Background

Warning Signs:

They claim to be trauma-informed but have no formal training, certifications, or professional experience working in a trauma field beyond their own personal experience.

They use vague phrases like “I healed myself, so I can help you too.”

They rely heavily on spiritual bypassing like “Just raise your vibration!” rather than grounded, science-based trauma support.

They don't acknowledge where their specific scope of practice begins or ends.

Why This is a Problem:

Untrained coaches often misunderstand trauma responses fight, flight, freeze, fawn and may unknowingly push clients into re-traumatization, bypassing or forced emotional exposure.

Green Flags and What to Look for Instead:

A true trauma-informed coach will openly list their training and credentials, such as certifications in trauma-sensitive coaching, somatics, psychology, or nervous system regulation. They will have training in ethical trauma care and coaching practices. They will be practiced at initiating conversations around their scope of practice and where you may need to be referred out to other resources or support modalities. They prioritize client healing over sales.

They may say things like:

"Of course, you might know best about what you need, but it sounds like you may benefit more from seeking the support of trauma therapy. What do you think about that?"

Red Flag #2
Uses Emotional Activation for Sales or Breakthroughs

Warning Signs:

They deliberately push emotional pain to create a “breakthrough” moment in sales calls or sessions. In conversations, it feels like they are hunting for pain points, especially about individual experiences of systemic inequities, to highlight as common experiences that get invalidated or minimized which can show up like “everyone is a little ADHD” or “that experience is hard for everyone” and then they go on to illustrate how you are somehow relating to it with a “self-limiting belief” or “disempowering” way.

It feels like a lot of pressure or like things are moving really fast. They pressure clients into revisiting deep trauma before they are ready. They encourage emotional purging (crying, rage releases) without providing proper integration or aftercare resource referrals or support.

Why This is a Problem:

Manipulating emotional wounds to create a temporary emotional high can mimic healing but doesn’t resolve trauma. It can leave clients feeling worse afterward, increasing their dependency on the coach.

Green Flags and What to Look for Instead:

A trauma-informed coach prioritizes nervous system regulation and does not rush or force emotional breakthroughs for the sake of “progress.”

They say things like:

“We will go at your pace, and you are always in control of what we explore.”

“If at any point you feel overwhelmed, we can pause and ground before moving forward.”

Red Flag #3
No Understanding of the Nervous System or Regulation Practices

Warning Signs:

They talk about trauma but don’t mention the nervous system, somatics, or regulation tools.

They suggest “just think positively” instead of addressing nervous system dysregulation. They have no discussion of somatic practices, breathwork, grounding techniques, or regulation tools.

Why This is a Problem:

Trauma is stored in the body, not just the mind. If a coach only focuses on mindset shifts without incorporating body-based regulation techniques, they can unintentionally re-traumatize clients.

Green Flags and What to Look for Instead:

A trauma-informed coach is skilled at global listening. They demonstrate that they are listening to your words, your body language and the systemic factors at play in a coaching session. They integrate nervous system regulation and body-based techniques such as breathwork, grounding techniques, somatic experiencing, and polyvagal-informed coaching (understanding nervous system states).

They say things like:

“Let’s check in with your body. How are you feeling right now?”

“Would you like to pause and take a deep breath before we continue?”

Red Flag #4
No Respect for Consent, Correction from Client, Boundaries, or Client Autonomy

Warning Signs:

They override a client’s autonomy, comfort level or pressure them into emotional disclosure.

They don’t provide opt-out options in exercises and force participation. This shows up as “hunting” where the client experiences repeated questioning then dismissal of responses with no pauses. This is because the coach is focused on getting a reaction out of the client, instead of letting the client lead the exploration.

They rush said deep trauma exploration without first building a sense of safety.

They ignore or completely miss a verbal “no” or discomfort cues from the client’s vocalizations or body expressions, pressuring clients to talk when they hesitate.

Why This is a Problem:

Many so-called trauma-informed coaches pressure clients to reveal painful experiences too soon, pushing them past their emotional limits instead of fostering a safe environment.

Green Flags and What to Look for Instead:

A real trauma-informed coach asks for permission before discussing sensitive topics, respects “no” and never forces disclosure, and allows clients to self-pace their healing process. They also reinforce client agency along the way.

They say things like:

“Would you like to explore this deeper, or would you rather pause for now?”

“You always have full permission to set boundaries, stop, pause or redirect the conversation in this space.”

Red Flag #5
Promotes the “You’re Not Healing Fast Enough” Narrative

Warning Signs:

They shame slow progress, saying things like, “If you really wanted to heal (or reach your coaching goal) you’d be doing XYZ by now.”

They force rigid timelines, such as “You should be healed after X sessions” or “this is your pattern, you keep doing this, you're still here, this should be resolved by now.”

They blame the client for lack of progress, suggesting they are “resisting” healing or saying outright that they "love being stuck" or saying that "you don't want to change because it benefits you in some way still."

Why This is a Problem:

Trauma healing is nonlinear. Everyone processes at their own pace, and pressure to achieve rapid breakthroughs can be harmful. Maladaptive coping mechanisms are not something to shame a client for, introducing them to practices that help them adapt in healthy ways when they are ready is more supportive and likely to foster supportive healing environments.

Green Flags and What to Look for Instead:

A real trauma-informed coach validates progress, no matter how small, encourages self-compassion instead of urgency, and normalizes setbacks as part of the healing journey.

They say things like:

“Healing isn’t a straight line. It’s okay to take your time.”

“Your pace is valid, there’s no rush to ‘fix’ yourself.”

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The biggest indicator if you are with the right coach is to ask yourself -

Do I feel protected by this “trauma-informed coach” or pressured?

Do sessions feel paced or like I am trying to catch up or defend myself?

A real trauma-informed coach prioritizes safety, empowerment, and autonomy.

They never weaponize trauma to create sales, and they honor the nervous system’s pace instead of forcing breakthroughs.

Remember…

If a coach makes you feel unsafe, pressured, or shamed, they are not trauma-informed, no matter what they claim.

You can trust YOUR assessment of their trauma support abilities over their claims.

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#traumacoaching #somatichealing #spiritualcoaching #traumainformed #BusinessCoaching #ethicalselling #consciousmarketing #businesstips #invisibledisabilities #inclusion

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