How to Handle Tricky Client Situations Ethically

How to Handle Tricky Client Situations Ethically:
For Coaches Who Want to Incorporate More Ethical Practices

For the past week, I’ve been highlighting how toxic exclusivity in the coaching industry impacts those with invisible disabilities. There are many aspects to explore, but today, I want to focus on coaches who genuinely want to create a more ethical and inclusive practice.

When a client is struggling, it’s easy to feel unsure about how to support them while honoring their lived experience. Here are a few scenarios and ways you can respond to offer meaningful support.

Scenario: When a Client Struggles with Systemic Inequities and Feels Stuck

Toxic Approach:
"That’s just a self-limiting belief. Stop using it as a crutch. You can manifest success if you just decide.”

Ethical Approach:
Acknowledge their reality AND help them find ways to navigate it. Help them reclaim agency where possible without dismissing their experience.

Ethical Dialectal Modeling:
"I hear you. These barriers are real, and they can be exhausting to navigate. Let’s explore what’s within your control and how we can create strategies that work for you without forcing toxic hustle culture or an ableist productivity timeline.”

Scenario: When a Client Is Emotionally Activated (Triggered or Overwhelmed)

Toxic Approach:
"Let’s push through this, because discomfort and getting outside your comfort zone leads to growth."

Ethical Approach:
Pause the session if needed. Don’t force deep emotional work in an unsafe way. Offer grounding exercises like deep breathing, visualization, or somatic tools. Give them agency over the pace of the conversation.

Ethical Dialectal Modeling:
"I want to make sure you feel safe as we process this. Would it help to pause and check in with how your body is feeling? We don’t need to rush anything today."

Scenario: When a Client Has Internalized Self-Blame and Feels Like a Failure

Toxic Approach:
"You just need to be positive. Your current reality is a reflection of your negative mindset.”

Ethical Approach:
Work with them to separate their worth from their productivity or external success. See if they can move from self-blame and judgement to curiosity and self compassion. Help them notice any progress they may be overlooking.

Ethical Dialectal Modeling:
"I hear that you’re feeling like you’re not doing enough. What would it look like to celebrate even the small wins you’ve had? Can we explore ways to be kinder to yourself in this process?"

Scenario: When a Client Wants Quick Results and Feels Frustrated

Toxic Approach:
"If you really wanted success, you’d be taking massive action by now."

Ethical Approach:
Acknowledge their desire for results while explaining that sustainable change takes time. Help them see the value of slow, steady progress and deposits. Encourage them to define success on their own terms.

Ethical Dialectal Modeling:
"I get why you’re feeling frustrated. Change can feel slow sometimes. Instead of focusing only on big wins, what are some small shifts that are already happening?"

Scenario: When a Client Is Being Manipulated by Toxic Productivity Culture

Toxic Approach:
"If you take a break, you’ll lose momentum. You need to push through."

Ethical Coaching Approach:
Normalize rest as part of success. Help them detach their identity from constant output. Encourage nervous system regulation as a performance tool.

Ethical Dialectal Modeling:
"Rest is not a luxury. It’s a key part of sustainable success. What if taking a break actually made your work more effective instead of less?"

Ethical Coaching:
Remember The Golden Rules

Empower, don’t exploit.
Support, don’t shame.
Challenge, but don’t coerce.

and ask open ended questions that allow the client to share what is true for them, instead of leading questions.